Thinking 1
Statements that leave no room for anything else to be true. "Always" "Never"
What is All or Nothing or Black and White Thinking?
You believe you know what other people are thinking even without asking. “He clearly doesn’t think I will do a good job.”
What is Mind Reading?
You “should” on yourself or someone else by having a fixed idea of how you or others should behave, and you overestimate how bad it will be if these expectations are not met. “It’s terrible that I made a mistake; I should always do my best.” “You shouldn’t be so upset.”
What is should statements?
This is finger pointing, or putting the responsibility on someone else. We use this to avoid getting into trouble, or to avoid embarrassment.
What is Blaming?
This is when we make something seem less than it really was. There are some red flags that should alert us when we are minimizing. Those red flags are the words, “only” and “just.” For example, “I was only five minutes late.” If we convince ourselves that our hurtful or irresponsible behaviors are no longer a big deal, then we won’t work on changing them.
What is Minimizing?
You predict the future negatively without considering other more likely outcomes
What is Catastrophizing?
This is when a person only thinks about themselves, selfishness.
What is Me, ME, ME?
We use this thinking error to get attention, and to make others feel sorry for us. We also use it to get other people to leave us alone instead of holding us accountable when we mess up. Sometimes we use this thinking error to get others to do things for us that we should be doing for ourselves.
What is Victim Stance?
This is when we pretend something isn’t true, when it really is. We refuse to face the facts because we think it will make our lives easier.
What is Denial?
This is when we act as if we think we know what is going on, but we don’t take the time to make sure. We use this to avoid the responsibility of checking things out with someone else.
What is Assuming?
This is when we believe that everything will work out if we just want it enough. We use this to avoid responsibility of working to correct our mistakes and make our lives what we want them to be. An example is a driver who speeds, saying “I’ll never get caught.”
What is Magical Thinking?
This is when we pretend our ability or power was reduced or eliminated. We pretend we did not know because we were upset, stressed, tired, drunk, or not thinking straight.
What is diminished capacity syndrome?
When we try to defend lazy behavior. “I didn’t have time” means “I chose to do other things instead.”
Try to defend lazy behavior. “I didn’t have time” means “I chose to do other things instead.”
This is Mrs. Teresa favorite color.
What is Blue?
This is when we say we can’t do something when the truth is that we don’t or didn’t want to do it. We act helpless or say “I can’t” to make it seem like we tried to do something positive. “I can’t” usually means “I won’t.”
What is Acting Helpless or "I can't"
You make a sweeping, negative conclusion that goes far beyond the current situation. “Since I felt uncomfortable in my first day of class, I know that I won’t be able to enjoy the rest of the year.”
What is overgeneralization?
Overgeneralization is taken a step further by the use of extreme language to describe things. “I spilled my milk. I am SUCH A LOSER!” “My therapist didn’t call me right back; she is the most uncaring, heartless therapist ever!”
Labeling
You start thinking your emotions are fact. “I feel . . .; therefore, it is. I feel like she hates me; therefore, she does.” “I feel stupid; therefore I am stupid.” “I dread school, so it’s a bad idea to go.”
What is Emotional Reasoning?
This is when we focus on the “reasons” why we didn’t do something we were supposed to do, or when we did something we weren’t supposed to do. Red flags for justifying are words like “but.” For example, “I did my treatment work, but my mother picked me up at school so I don’t have it.” A good way to stop justifying is to stop using the word “but.”
What is Justifying?
This is when we pretend that we don’t know the answer that other people need or want. We use this to avoid telling the truth or sharing information which we think might be embarrassing or cause us to feel shame. Most of the time we know the answer, we just don’t want to admit it for fear of consequences.
What is Avoidance or "I don't know"?
You develop selective hearing and vision and only hear and see the one negative thing and ignore the many positive things. “Because my supervisor gave me one low rating on my evaluation (that also had many higher ratings), it means I’m doing a terrible job.”
What is Mental Filter?
You tell yourself that the positive experiences, actions, or qualities do not count. “I did well in that one basketball game because I just got lucky.”
What is DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE?
You see yourself as the cause for things you have absolutely no control over or the target of stuff that may have absolutely nothing to do with you. “My parents divorced because of me.” “The receptionist was short with me because I did something wrong.”
What is Personalization?
This is not thinking ahead about the consequences of our actions. We use this to avoid responsibility of controlling impulses. When an elephant is really far away it looks small and harmless, but when it gets really close, it is big and scary. Start to think about the end result before making decisions.
What is the Distant Elephant?
There are at least three types of these. One is when we leave out some information. This is a “half-truth” or lies of omission. Another is when we flat out say something that is not true. This called a lie of commission. The third is when we pretend to agree with someone when we really don’t (faking). This is called a lie of assent.
What is Lying?