Why did my brain do that?
Sometimes you're in a stressful conversation and suddenly your mind goes blank. What might be happening?
Your stress level may be making it harder to think, organize your thoughts, or find words.
Finish this sentence: “Give me a _____ to think.”
Second/minute.
Someone says, “Why are you being so quiet?” You are actually overwhelmed. What could you say?
“I'm trying to figure out what to say.”
Someone is angry with you. What's usually more helpful: yelling louder or slowing yourself down?
Slowing yourself down.
Your friend says: “Why didn't you text me back?” You're nervous and freeze. What could you say?
“I don't know how to explain it right now. Give me a second.”
True or False: If you freeze during an argument, it means you don't care about the person.
False.
Someone asks you a difficult question and you don't know what to say. Give one sentence that buys you time.
“I need a minute to think.”
“I'm not sure how to answer that yet.”
“Can I think about it before I answer?”
A friend says, “Are you mad at me?” You are upset but can't explain why. What could you say?
“I am a little upset, but I don't know how to explain it yet.”
You're in an argument and notice your heart is racing and you're getting really angry. Name one thing you could do before responding.
Pause, breathe, get some space, drink water, lower your voice, ask for a break.
Your teacher asks why you didn't finish an assignment. You know the answer but suddenly can't explain it. What could you say?
“I know the answer. I'm just having trouble explaining it right now.”
Name one sign that tells you you're becoming overwhelmed during a conversation.
Possible: Heart racing, getting quiet, feeling hot, shaky, angry, wanting to leave, difficulty thinking, feeling numb, forgetting what you wanted to say.
Your parent wants an answer right now, but you're overwhelmed. What could you say?
“I want to answer you. I just need a few minutes to think.”
Someone says something that hurts your feelings. You freeze. What's something you could say even if you don't know exactly what you're feeling?
“That bothered me, but I need some time to figure out why.”
Someone says, “You NEVER listen to me!” What's one response that doesn't immediately turn into “Yes I do!”?
“It sounds like you feel like I'm not listening.”
Your parent says: “We need to talk about what happened.” Your stomach drops and you want to disappear. What could you say?
“Okay. I'm nervous about talking about it, but I'll try.”
You're talking to someone important and suddenly think, “I don't know what to say.” What's one thing you can do instead of forcing yourself to answer immediately?
Pause, ask for time, take a breath, or tell the person you're having trouble finding your words.
You're getting angry and know you're about to say something you don't mean. Give me a sentence you could use to pause the conversation.
"I'm getting too upset to have this conversation right now. Can we take a break?”
Someone keeps interrupting you. What could you say without starting another argument?
“Can you let me finish what I'm saying, and then I'll listen to you?”
Someone says, “If you cared about me, you'd agree with me.” How could you respond?
“I do care about you. I just don't agree.”
Your friend says: “You hurt my feelings.” You immediately freeze because you're afraid you're going to make things worse. What could you say?
“I don't know what to say right now, but I want to understand what happened.”
Your brain completely shuts down during an argument. What could you say that explains what's happening without ending the relationship or conversation?
“I want to talk about this. I'm just overwhelmed and having trouble finding the words.”
Create your own “emergency phrase” for when your brain freezes.
“Give me a second.”
“I'm thinking.”
“I don't know how to say this.”
“Can we slow down?”
“I need a minute.”
Someone asks, “What's wrong?” You don't want to lie, but you aren't ready to explain. What could you say?
“Something is bothering me, but I'm not ready to talk about it yet.”
You're so angry that you can feel yourself saying things just to hurt the other person. What could you do?
Pause the conversation and return to it when you're able to communicate more effectively.
You're having a really important conversation. The other person says, “Well? What do you have to say?” Your mind is completely blank. Give me a three-part response.
“I'm not ignoring you. I'm overwhelmed and having trouble finding my words. Give me a minute and I'll try to explain.”