Riddles
I belong in the month of December, but not in any other month. I am not a holiday. What am I?
It doesn't have to do with a day or temperature
The letter "d
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
Who spends the day at the window, goes to the table for meals, and hides at night?
He's also not a particularly welcome dinner guest.
A fly
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
George, Helen, and Steve are drinking coffee. Bert, Karen, and Dave are drinking Pepsi. Following this pattern, is Elizabeth drinking coffee or soda?
Pay attention to the vowels.
Coffee, just like all the other names with two e's.
I invented a new word!
Plagiarism!
I come from a mine and am surrounded by wood. I help others to express themselves. What am I?
Thanks to texting and email, I don't get used as much as I used to.
Pencil lead
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
My thunder comes before the lightning. My lightning comes before the clouds. My rain dries all the land it touches. What am I?
A volcano
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Which word in the dictionary is always spelled incorrectly?
The answer is right there in the question.
"Incorrectly"
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
Who has a neck and no head, two arms and no hands?
It can look pretty funny or wrinkly.
A shirt
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
What English word has three consecutive double letters?
This word actually refers to someone who loves numbers.
Bookkeeper
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
I'm everywhere and a part of everyone. I am at the end of space and time and existence itself. What am I?
Think more literal than metaphysical.
The letter "e"
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. Don’t miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up.
You're in a dark room with a candle, a wood stove, and a gas lamp. You only have one match, so what do you light first?
This one is obvious when you know what to look for.
The match
Two muffins were sitting in an oven.
The other one shouted, “Wow, a talking muffin!”