Active Listening
In a conversation, active listening means dedicating roughly this percentage of your time to listening deeply to the other person.
70%
To resolve a disagreement, you must start by doing this—being fully present and showing with your posture that you are paying attention.
Active Listening
Great feedback is a "two-way street" aimed at helping someone improve, which is a core part of building this kind of culture.
Curiosity or a Growth Mindset culture
True or False: Resolving a conflict successfully means you have to agree with everything the other person is saying.
False (The goal is finding a solution, not complete agreement)
Maintaining natural eye contact, leaning in, and nodding are all part of showing you are fully present through this.
Body Language (or Active Listening posture)
To truly understand someone, you must listen not just to their surface-level words, but to these two subtle things underneath.
Tone of voice and deeper meaning (or body language/energy shifts)
Instead of trying to "win" an argument or prove you are right, you should adopt this mindset to try and understand where the other person is coming from.
Curiosity-first mindset / Open-mindedness
Before you start a difficult conversation, you should check in with your own thoughts and feelings first. This internal habit is called what?
Self-Awareness
Rather than agreeing on absolutely everything, the main goal of conflict resolution is to come into this with the other person.
Alignment (or Collaboration/A Solution)
If you find yourself getting defensive during a conversation, taking a moment to label the emotion you are feeling is a form of this.
Emotional Regulation (or Self-Awareness)
This core active listening skill requires you to "quiet your inner voice" and avoid planning what you are going to say next while the other person is speaking.
Being present and listening to understand (not to reply)
If you feel yourself getting triggered or upset during a disagreement, doing this physical action can help calm your nervous system.
Taking deep breaths (or taking a moment to breathe)
Rather than catching someone off guard or starting with a "feedback sandwich," you should begin by doing this.
Asking permission to share feedback / Asking if it's a good time to talk
In any disagreement, we cannot control how the other person responds. This is the only thing we can truly control.
How we show up (our own response/behavior)
This internal voice often tries to get in the way of you sharing your true thoughts, telling you that you aren't good enough.
The "Inner Critic"
Active communication requires you to commit to "Zero" of these two common conversational blockers while someone else is talking.
Interruptions and Assumptions/Judgments
To share your perspective during a conflict without placing blame on the other person, you should use these types of statements
"I" statements
When sharing constructive feedback, it's vital to explain the problem directly and then provide this, which gives them clear actions to improve.
Actionable next steps (growth opportunity)
If a conversation ceases to be productive or respectful, it is okay to do this, provided it is done respectfully.
Walk away (or take a break)
To "read between the lines" during a hard conversation, you should pay close attention to these three subtle non-verbal cues.
Tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language/energy shifts
"It sounds like you felt really proud of that moment, is that right?" is an example of this helpful type of active listening response.
A Reflection (mirror) or Clarifying Question
Instead of a "compromise" where both people feel like they lost something, this collaborative outcome means finding a creative solution where everyone wins.
A Win/Win outcome (or Alignment)
"What did you hear me say?" or "Was there anything unclear?" are examples of this critical feedback check to make sure both people are on the same page.
A Perception Check
When brainstorming a collaborative solution, the focus shifts entirely away from "right or wrong" and moves toward this concept.
Working together / Finding a solution that works for everyone
After a hard conversation is over, doing this helps ensure both people stick to their promises and keeps the relationship strong over time.
Following up / Checking in