Healthy Coping
You notice your thoughts spiraling and pause to slowly count your breathing in and out.
(Using rhythm to calm your body)
deep-breathing
Instead of dealing with stress, you pretend the problem doesn’t exist.
avoidance
You make one mistake at work and think, “I’m going to lose my job, everything is ruined.”
(Jumping straight to the worst possible outcome)
catastrophizing
Making you feel bad for saying no or setting limits; convincing you to do/follow them instead of yourself.
guilt-tripping
Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand their experience.
empathy
When you can’t control a situation, you focus on what you can control - making peace with what you can't.
(Shifting attention to manageable things)
acceptance
When upset, you shut down completely and stop talking to others.
withdrawal
You think, “If I don’t do this perfectly, it’s a complete failure.”
(Seeing only 2 options: perfect or terrible)
black-and-white thinking
When a person denies something they clearly said or did, making you question your memory.
gaslighting
When someone gives you time - doesn't rush or pressure you, they are showing this
patience
You say no to something because you know you don’t have the energy for it.
(Protecting your time and emotional limits)
boundaries
You dwell on negative thoughts over and over without trying to solve anything.
rumination
You believe, “If it’s not perfect, it’s not good enough to even try.”
(Needing everything to be flawless)
perfectionism
When someone avoids addressing your concern by changing the topic or turning the focus onto something you did instead.
deflection
Understanding how your behavior affects other people. Recognizing your own emotions and being able to name them
self awareness
You focus on the present moment instead of worrying about the past or future.
(Staying mentally in the here and now)
mindfulness
You rely on too often on others to fix your problems instead of trying to handle them yourself.
dependency
Someone is in a bad mood and you think, “This is because of me.”
(Blaming yourself for things outside your control)
personalization
After an argument, someone gives you the silent treatment for days to punish you.
stone walling (or passive aggression)
When someone’s actions regularly match what they say they will do. Showing the same level of respect and care, not just when things are going well.
consistency
When your thoughts are racing, you focus on what you can see, hear, and feel around you.
grounding
You engage in risky behavior to escape or distract from emotions.
impulsivity
Your friend doesn’t text back, and you think, “They must be mad at me.”
(Assuming you know what someone else is thinking)
mind-reading
Blaming another person for feelings you don’t want to admit you have. Pointing out negative traits in others that you are showing yourself.
projection
Taking responsibility for your part in a conflict instead of focusing only on the other person.
accountability