Family
Matters
Matters
Dominique's faith is called Metamorphosism
How important is spirituality and/or religion in your life? In your day-to-day?
"Commitment in a relationship means we both agree to be by each other’s sides, no matter what happens. It is working in a diligent manner to keep things running smoothly and working right."
How does commitment contribute to a relationship functioning smoothly?
When they're comfortable, Dominique communicates directly; they'll tell you straight forward what the problem is, and if they know how it can be fixed or not
How comfortable were you sharing your feelings growing up?
How comfortable are you sharing your 100% authentic self with me?
Dominique: can take awhile to find the right answers to new problems
"I really like to be sure I’ve checked all my possibilities, which can lead to stress/missed deadlines."
What do you think your weaknesses are to me/in our relationship?
Dominique celebrates Christianic holidays, African American cultural holidays, Lavendar cultural holidays, Memorial days, and seasonal folk majick-tied holidays.
Are there any family traditions you can think of that would be fun to start together?
"In order to find Love and Truth, we must continuously learn about both inside and outside ourselves"
Have you ever felt “the call” (a strong inclination to study/join) to any particular faith?
"Commitment to me means caring about each other’s comfort levels, and being proactive in asking if there’s something we can do within our means to help (proactive: not always waiting to be asked or told, but working to gather information yourself as well)"
If commitment was missing in a relationship, what would you do to help?
Because of how they were raised, Dominique wasn’t always allowed to voice their own opinions clearly; so slow communication over time-- such as written letters-- ensures their clarity, safety, and comfort
What are ways we can help each other communicate better?
Dominique: can develop blinders when “in the zone”
"When I find a way that works, I need to be pushed to try a new method..."
What do you think your weaknesses are to yourself?
Dominique's family occasionally has Family reunions; Zac is invited, not obligated, to attend
Are there any family traditions you’d like to follow together, or just make me aware of?
For simplicity of explanation, Dominique is an Animist that worships the God Antonio, venerates their Ancestas, and stewards Our Mami Nature
Are there any particular practices that would make you feel uncomfortable/unsafe? Could you please explain why?
"We set ground rules for each other and our relationship, because we know they will make it work best. Commitment means agreeing on sticking to those rules."
What can happen to a relationship when commitment isn’t there?
breaking down issues into manageable chunks to solve individually and put all back together
How do you like to work through problems?
Zac is encouraged yet not expected to interact with Dominique's family; if and when interacting with each other’s families, honesty about the extent of the relationship is expected
Do you plan on interacting with my family with me together, as a couple?
As a priestess of their faith, Dominique is spiritually married to God first; God directs them to physically marry Zac, in Their Name-- marriage acknowledges God’s existence and presence in this Universe and in Life, but religious practice is not mandatory
Are there any rituals/practices you practice that are important for me to know about? (would like if I joined, may be surprising/startling, require prep, etc.)
"To me, it’s not just 'being with one partner'; that general assumption is just based on the most important rule for monogamous people…"
Has commitment ever not shown up for you? What does that look like?
having space alone, with music of choice (including silence)
When you are frustrated, what helps you calm back down?
Dominique: resilient to the point of being impervious;
"it’s pretty much impossible to destroy me, I just learn ways to adapt to life."
What do you think your strengths are to yourself?
Due to the experiences of the past relationship, involving instances of racism and lavphobia, Dominique does not currently wish to be involved with Zac's family during their marriage; they will remain uninvolved until the minstrel doll situation is resolved.
Do you plan on resolving the microaggresion situation with your mother’s side of the family? If so, what is the current proposed idea and its timeline?
"Metamorphosism is the religiously spiritual belief that we are all our own God, all connected as One in the grand scheme of the Universe; we all have the power to create and shape our own reality/Universe, and must choose to do so with Love and Truth"
Do you have any favourite holidays?
"COMMITMENT": an agreement or pledge; a promise to be loyal
("LOYAL": unswerving in allegiance, such as: faithful to a private person, cause, or ideal)
What does commitment mean to you in a relationship?
What does commitment do in a relationship?
ask someone near for help; check books and online resources; try again after a break; repeat until solved or forgotten
If you can’t solve a problem, what do you do?
Dominique: very loyal and diligent;
"I work on something until it’s done, especially if it’s something I love or for someone I love."
What do you think your strengths are to me/in our relationship?