TRUE, FALSE… OR IT DEPENDS? 🤔
True or False: A foster parent is responsible for supporting the youth's daily routines.
True. Daily care and routines are part of the foster-parent role.
Complete this statement from training: “Behavior is often ______.”
Communication.
I provide daily routines, supervision, transportation, school communication, and behavioral observations. Who am I?
The foster/respite parent.
Name one phrase discussed in training that many adults heard growing up.
Accept answers including “Because I said so,” “Children should be seen and not heard,” “Stop crying,” “Don't talk back,” “Toughen up,” or “As long as you live under my roof.”
You notice an important change in your foster youth's behavior. What's one thing you're responsible for doing?
Document important information and communicate the concern.
True or False: If information about a youth is true, it's okay for the foster parent to share it with people they trust.
False. Case history, abuse/neglect details, family background, and court information are confidential.
A youth enters a new foster home and struggles to follow the household routine. Name one foster-care experience that might help explain the difficulty.
Examples include removal from home, emergency placement, a new school/new rules, placement changes, multiple caregivers with different rules, or repeatedly disrupted routines.
I make final decisions involving custody, placement approval, permanency goals, and court orders. Who am I?
The Family Court Judge or Commissioner.
What value was identified underneath the phrase “Don't talk back”?
Respect.
A youth doesn't complete a task after you've repeatedly told them to do it. Before assuming they're refusing, what's one thing you should consider?
Whether the skill or steps have actually been taught. The training distinguishes telling from teaching.
True or False: A foster parent's job is to make legal decisions in the youth's best interest.
False. Foster parents provide daily care and advocacy but do not make legal decisions.
A youth repeatedly forgets a multi-step morning routine. What executive-function skill could be involved?
Working memory, planning, organization, attention, or task completion could be involved.
I license foster-care programs, monitor safety and compliance, and investigate licensing-related complaints. Who am I?
Office of Child Care Licensing (OCCL).
What value was identified underneath “Because I said so”?
Authority/protection.
A youth's behavior begins escalating but hasn't reached an emergency. What's the goal at this stage?
Recognize the warning signs and intervene early before the situation escalates further.
True, False, or It Depends: A teenager refusing to talk after a difficult day is a crisis.
It depends. A crisis involves emotional, behavioral, or physical safety being at risk and requiring immediate intervention. The behavior should be assessed in context rather than automatically labeled a crisis.
A youth has a major emotional reaction before or after a family visit. Why might the foster parent look beyond the behavior itself?
Family visits can be a situational source of crisis/stress, and foster youth may also be navigating separation, grief, loss, trauma, and uncertainty.
I independently review the child's case, gather information from the parties, and submit information/reports to the judge. Who am I?
CASA — Court Appointed Special Advocate.
What's the updated message for “Toughen up”?
“This is hard, and you can get through it.”
A youth is overwhelmed and the foster parent is becoming increasingly angry too. What's something the foster parent should avoid doing?
Adding to the escalation. The goal is an appropriate, calm response focused on safety and well-being.
True, False, or It Depends: If a youth knows what they're supposed to do, they should be able to consistently do it.
False/It depends. Knowing and doing are different. Trauma and executive-function challenges can affect planning, attention, working memory, impulse control, emotional regulation, and task completion.
A foster parent says, “She's 17. Nobody should have to teach her how to do basic things.” What's missing from that thinking?
Age doesn't tell us what a youth has actually been taught. Multiple caregivers, disrupted routines, survival mode, and inconsistent opportunities to learn skills can create gaps.
I work directly with youth to build skills, manage behavior, and support daily functioning. Who am I?
Youth Rehabilitation Specialist (YRS).
What's the larger lesson behind changing these phrases? Are foster parents being asked to abandon expectations?
No. Keep the value and change the message. The training emphasizes adapting communication while maintaining appropriate boundaries, expectations, and connection.
You've explained a household expectation repeatedly, but the youth still isn't successful. What's a more useful next move than simply repeating the instruction louder?
Break the expectation into smaller skills/steps, teach or model them, provide coaching, and use consistent supportive routines.