Types of Boundaries
This type of boundary refers to your thoughts, ideas, and respecting others' views while standing up for your own.
What are Intellectual boundaries?
An intellectual boundary failure where you insist you are always right and never consider other views, or its opposite: caving in to others' views completely.
What is being rigid/unhealthy with intellectual boundaries?
A simple, direct phrase you can use when someone asks you to do a task that you cannot accommodate.
What is “I can’t do that for you” or “Not at this time”?
The act of thinking about what you want to say and how you will say it before entering a difficult situation to increase your confidence
What is planning ahead?
This simple two-letter word is considered a complete sentence and requires no extra explanation, excuses, or apologies when setting a boundary.
What is "No"?
These boundaries refer to your personal space, physical closeness, and physical touch.
What are Physical boundaries?
Oversharing your personal feelings too quickly or taking on the heavy emotional baggage of everyone around you.
What is an unhealthy emotional boundary?
What you should say immediately if someone crosses a line and makes you feel physically or emotionally unsafe.
What is “I’m uncomfortable with this” or “This is not acceptable”?
Avoiding yelling, put-downs, or passive-aggressive behavior so that your firm words are actually effective.
What is being respectful?
This simple, physical action is often the best boundary response when someone becomes aggressive, disrespectful, or refuses to listen to your words.
What is leaving? (or walking away)
This boundary type involves your feelings, sharing with others in a way that feels right to you, and not taking on too much of someone else's emotions.
What are Emotional boundaries?
Overspending, overgiving in a way that hurts your well-being, or being excessively stingy and guarded with your money.
What is a material boundary violation/unhealthy material boundary?
A respectful but firm phrase to stop an unwanted behavior dead in its tracks.
What is “Please don’t do that”?
Facing the other person, making eye contact, and using a steady, appropriately volumed tone of voice.
What is using confident body language?
This is what you are doing when you say "yes" to someone else out of guilt, even though it means saying "no" to your own mental health and well-being.
What is people-pleasing?
This boundary type dictates how you spend your days and involves devoting enough focus to things that are important to you rather than letting others dictate your schedule.
What are Time boundaries?
Wasting your days on things that don't matter, or on the flip side, never being flexible or spontaneous with your schedule.
What is poor time boundary management?
A statement that clearly communicates you have made a final, firm choice not to participate in something.
What is “I don’t want to do that” or “I’ve decided not to”?
A tool used in healthy relationships where you listen to and consider the needs of the other person, though you are never forced to do it.
What is compromise (or give-and-take)?
This word describes the act of over-explaining, making up excuses, or defensive talking after you have already stated your boundary.
What is justifying?
These two boundary types govern how you honor your sexual desires and limits, as well as how generously or guardedly you handle your money and possessions.
What are Sexual and Material boundaries?
Going along with sexual activity despite not wanting to, or completely denying your own desires even when they align with your morals.
What are unhealthy sexual boundaries?
The phrase to use when you need to establish a definitive, non-negotiable limit in a difficult situation.
What is “I’m drawing the line at ___”?
The healthy balance of sharing and connecting with others in a way that feels right to you, without completely shutting them out or oversharing.
What is a healthy emotional boundary?
This is the ultimate goal of setting boundaries, which allows you to protect your peace of mind and take responsibility for your own well-being.
What is self-care?