Use Concrete Words
Make this more concrete: The extent to which students' final memos align with the course content to date will be a strongly determinative factor in Professor Hendrickson's assessment of a given student's progression as it concerns, to coin a phrase, Legal Research & Writing.
Anything more simple will suffice. Should avoid ALL the following words: extent, determinative, concerns, factor.
Raleigh passed her civ-pro exam.
Or
Raleigh aced her civ-pro exam.
Raleigh aced her civ-pro exam.
Nate claimed he didn’t go nowhere when he was accused of driving to Portland to acquire a controlled substance.
Or
Nate claimed he didn’t go anywhere when he was accused of driving to Portland to acquire a controlled substance.
Nate claimed he didn’t go anywhere when he was accused of driving to Portland to acquire a controlled substance.
Replace the word "utilize" with a more familiar word.
Use.
Rewrite the sentence to avoid a split infinite: "The lawyer attempted to quickly resolve the dispute."
"The lawyer attempted to resolve the dispute quickly."
True or false: Intentionally abstract phrases may be necessary in legal writing.
True. Lawyers may sometimes deliberately choose abstract phrasing to play down a detail unfavorable to their clients. E.g., "Lacerations were brought about in areas of the face" rather than "Annie broke Zack's nose."
Kaleigh conducted an analysis on whether Bulldog Books was protected by Georgia Shopkeepers Privilege.
Or
Kaleigh analyzed whether Bulldog Books was protected by Georgia Shopkeepers Privilege.
Kaleigh analyzed whether Bulldog Books was protected by Georgia Shopkeepers Privilege.
Caleb’s defense was waived in his lawsuit against Addison as he failed to present it in a timely manner and didn't give Addison timely notice.
Or
Caleb’s defense was waived in his lawsuit against Addison as he failed to present it in a timely manner and should’ve given Addison timely notice.
Caleb’s defense was waived in his lawsuit against Addison as he failed to present it in a timely manner and should’ve given Addison timely notice.
Which is clearer: "terminate the agreement" "or end the agreement," assuming both have the same legal affect?
End the agreement.
Correct this sentence: "The court issued their decision yesterday."
"The court issued its decision yesterday."
Correct this: As a name partner in "Stump 'm Out Law, LLP," Addison's hourly rate sees as central budgetary concerns for the firm at large as she determines the way in which to best balance the competing factors of accessible legal services and a way in which to acquire her second backyard pool as desired.
Anything simpler will suffice.
Scott stared at Zack from across the classroom.
Or
Scott intensely looked at Zack from across the classroom.
Scott stared at Zack from across the classroom.
Correct this: It is unlawful to fail to slow your speed when driving past elementary schools.
Slowing down when driving past elementary schools is the law. (Or something along those lines.)
Replace "elucidate" with a simpler word.
Explain
A lawyer writes, "The company changed its policy because they received complaints." What is the problem with "they" in this sentence, and how could it be corrected?
"Company" is singular, so the pronoun should be "it": The company changed its policy because it received complaints."
Make this phrase more abstract as if Zack were your client: Hailey broke Zack's nose.
Anything less precise and more abstract will do.
Eden snatched the Chick-fil-A catering bag from the generous man.
Or
Eden quickly grabbed the Chick-fil-A catering bag from the generous man.
Eden snatched the Chick-fil-A catering bag from the generous man.
Correct this: "I didn’t do nothing," Addison said, as she testified against Alli.
"I didn't do anything."
A lawyer writes to a client: "We will expedite the processing of your claim." What familiar word could replace "expedite."
Hurry or speed up.
True or false: Sentences may sometimes need to end in a preposition.
No.