Healthy Communication
What does healthy communication look like? Name 3.
Summarizing what the other person said
Giving space when needed
Calm tone
"I" statements
Calm body language
Vulnerability
Perspective Taking
Taking accountability
Apologizing with intention
Forgiveness
Name examples of unhealthy body language.
Clenched fists, rolling eyes, invading personal space
Someone keeps interrupting you while telling a story.
Provide an example of an assertive response and unhealthy response.
Assertive: I feel frustrated when I’m interrupted. Can I finish my story?
Unhealthy: Can you shut up and let me talk for once? You’re so annoying.
Scenario: Your friends keep blowing up the groupchat saying they want you to play Roblox with them.
Provide an example of assertive communication.
"I appreciate the invite, but I'd rather do something else tonight."
"I appreciate the invite, but I don't feel like playing Roblox right now. Please stop spamming the chat, and I'll let you know if I decide to join later."
Is yelling healthy or unhealthy communication? Provide an example for whatever your answer is.
Unhealthy communication- when used to get your point across or not considering others feelings, when used to place a label on someone in a form of relatiation or bullying ex. "Loser!" or "You're ugly!"
Healthy- yelling as a form of encouragement or cheering ex. "You got this!"
Name the communication style we should work towards.
+50 if you can explain how this style can improve relationships
Assertive
Use "I statements" to get your feelings across, consider everyone's feelings during the interaction
Name one unhealthy communication style
Aggressive or Passive Aggressive?
A friend keeps making hurtful jokes about you.
Provide an example of an assertive response and unhealthy response.
Assertive: That hurt my feelings. Please don’t make jokes like that.
Unhealthy: You make a hurtful joke back.
You say, "Whatever, I don’t care anymore."
Identify the communication style.
Then, switch this statement to be assertive.
"I'm upset about what happened, and I'd like to talk about it."
Is setting boundaries healthy or unhealthy?
+50 if you can name two boundary styles
Healthy
rigid, porous, healthy
Scenario: A new peer started at school a few weeks ago. You've had a lot of conflict with this peer since their arrival.
Provide an example of how you might address the conflict assertively.
"We've been having a lot of conflict lately, and it's been frustrating for me. I'd like us to find a way to get along and communicate more respectfully moving forward."
"We don't have to be best friends, but I'd like us to get along and avoid unnecessary conflict."
"We've been having a lot of conflict lately, and it's been frustrating for me. I'd like us to find a way to get along and communicate more respectfully moving forward."
"We don't have to be best friends, but I'd like us to get along and avoid unnecessary conflict."
A peer verbalizes , "I feel like I've grown a lot since being here." Another peer responds by bringing up the past.
Describe how this can lead to conflict in the situation.
A peer keeps arguing with your favorite staff.
Provide an example of an assertive response and unhealthy response.
Assertive:
1. I’ve noticed a lot of arguments with staff lately. I’m wondering what’s going on for you, because it’s creating tension on the unit.
2. I'm feeling really anxious hearing you guys argue. Can you please stop?
Unhealthy:
You always have something to complain about for no reason. Everyone knows you’re just disrespectful to staff and want attention.
Scenario: Your friend says, "If you don’t agree with me, don’t hang out with us then."
Provide an example of an assertive response you could say to your friend.
"It hurts to hear that. I think friends should be able to disagree without excluding each other."
"I don't agree with you, but that doesn't mean we can't still be friends."
"I want to be able to share my thoughts without feeling excluded from the group."
How can healthy communication create a safer and welcoming environment?
+50 if you can name specific things you can do in your interactions
When people use calm tone and body language, listen and summarize, take accountability, apologize with intention, respect boundaries, and show understanding, it builds trust and makes everyone feel safe, heard, and welcome.
Scenario: Someone keeps making comments about another peers appearance.
Provide an assertive response that peer might make.
Provide an assertive response you could make if they are scared to speak up.
"I feel uncomfortable when comments are made about my body. Please stop."
"Can we change the subject? Talking about someone's appearance isn't okay."
A disagreement occurs between two peers, and one of the peers tells their friend "you heard her say that didn't you?" The friend responds, "yes, I don't know why you're lying about that."
How might bringing the friend into the disagreement increase conflict?
You make a hurtful comment towards someone during an argument.
Provide an example of an assertive response and unhealthy response.
Assertive: Apologize, saying "I’m sorry for what I said. I was angry, but that doesn’t make it okay."
Unhealthy: I meant what I said, "you're still dumb."
Scenario: One of your friends expresses that they feel really hurt because they weren't invited to a birthday party that the rest of the friend group attended attended. They explain that being left out made them feel like nobody wanted them there.
You respond: Relax, it’s not that serious.
Explain why your response is problematic. Change the statement to be more understanding.
Invalidating statement: This response minimizes and dismisses the other person's feelings. Instead of acknowledging that they are hurt, it suggests their emotions are an overreaction. This can make the person feel unheard, invalidated, and less likely to open up in the future.
"I can see why you're hurt. Being left out can feel really upsetting. Do you want to talk more about what happened?"
"I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I can understand why not being invited would hurt your feelings."
How can power dynamics create a hostile environment?
+50 if you provide an example of what someone with more power might do/feel
+50 if you provide an example of what someone with more power might do/feel
When one person has more power and misuses it, others feel scared to speak up, which makes the environment tense and unhealthy.
People in power: Might try to intimidate, silence, or control others to maintain the power or authority
Not in power: might feel unsafe, unable to express themselves due to retaliation, make themselves smaller
Scenario: Someone tells you something about another peer meant to be kept private. You then repeat this to another peer. This creates a ripple effect and now the person you guys are speaking about finds out. She feels extremely embarrassed and that boundaries were crossed.
Provide an example of an assertive response she might make.
"I feel really embarrassed that something private was shared with other people. I trusted that information would stay between us. I want to set a boundary that any information I confide in you should only be shared with my permission before discussing it with others."
"I'd like you to respect my boundary and not discuss my personal matters with others."
A peer doesn’t have many friends and wants to fit in. Another peer says they can sit with their group only if they stop talking to someone else on the unit.
Explain what type of unhealthy communication this is and why.
Hint: There is multiple unhealthy communication styles playing a role here.
Manipulation
The peer uses friendship as a reward and pressures someone to change their behavior to be accepted.
Power dynamics
One peer has social power (a group/friends) and uses it to control who the other person can talk to.
Pitting people against the other person
The peer is forcing them to choose sides by saying they can’t talk to someone else if they want to belong.
You're really angry and a friend wants to talk with you.
Provide an example of an assertive response and unhealthy response.
Assertive: I’m upset right now and need time before we talk. Can we check in later?
Unhealthy: You're so annoying, just leave me alone!
Scenario: Someone tells you, "Everyone saw you crying at school yesterday. You're not really as tough as you make yourself to be, are you?"
Why might this response escalate into a negative interaction?
What is an example of a supportive response?
Supportive Responses:
"I noticed you seemed upset yesterday. Are you okay?"
"It seems like you're dealing with a lot right now. If you want to talk, I'm here to listen."
If not close with the person, tell a staff to check in on them.
Name one way unhealthy communication can affect relationships.
Break trust, cause conflict, or hurt feelings