Types of Boundaries
This boundary is crossed when a person is standing too close to you
What is a Physical Boundary
This communication style is direct, clear, and calm: standing up for your needs without being mean or aggressive.
What is assertive communication?
The "A" step where you say "I'm sorry, that wasn't okay" without adding excuses like "but you..."
What is apologize?
This lowest level of listening involves nodding and saying "Mm-hmm..." while you are actually looking around and thinking about something else.
What is pretend listening?
The letter P stands for this step, where you stop before reacting to let your thinking brain catch up to your feelings.
What is Pause
This boundary is crossed when someone makes a hurtful joke about you
What is an emotional boundary
The first part of a classic I-Statement names how you feel without blaming the other person. Fill in the blank: "I feel _____..."
What is an emotion (sad, frustrated, upset...)
The first "A" in repairing a boundary where you state specifically what you did wrong (e.g., "I took your headphones without asking").
What is Acknowledge
When you only hear parts of a conversation that relate to you -like interrupting someone's beach story to talk about your beach trip- you are using this level.
What is selective listening
During the E (EXPLAIN) step, you use this type of communication statement to share how you feel without placing blame.
What is an I Statement?
"I need people to ask before borrowing my stuff". This sentence is an example for this type of boundary
What is a physical boundary
"Someone cuts in front of you in line. And your response: Say nothing, look at floor, feel angry inside."
What is passive communication
Asking "What do you need from me to make this right?" represents this "A" in the repair process.
What is Ask?
At this level of listening, you ask questions and pay close attention, so the other person feels these two positive emotions.
What is active listening?
In the step A you listen to the other person and reflect back what they said
What is Acknowledge?
"I get overwhelmed if we have too many activities in one day". This sentence is an example for this type of boundary
What are time and energy boundaries
"Someone cuts in line. Your response: 'HEY! What do you think you're doing? Get to the back!'"
What is aggressive communication
The final "A" step where you make a real commitment to change your future behavior so it doesn't happen again.
What is Adjust
Being distracted by phones/screens, thinking about what you want to say next are symptoms of this type of listening
In this step (C) you find a solution together that works for BOTH people.
What is Create?
"I need alone time after school before I can be social". This sentence is an example for this type of boundaries
What are time and energy boundaries?
"Someone cuts in line. Your response: 'Excuse me, I've been waiting. The line starts back there.'"
What is Assertive communication
You told someone's secret and then say: "I told [person] about what you shared with me."
What is Acknowledge
This top level of listening goes beyond words to understand the emotions behind what someone is saying (e.g., "It sounds like that was really special to you").
What is emphatic listening?
In the last step you check in later and ask "Did the solution work? Do we need to adjust?"
What is Evaluate?