Math Math Math!
Which is heavier: a 5-pound bag of rocks or a 5-pound bag of feathers?
They weigh the exact same!
What is the plural form of the word goose?
Geese
What has hands but cannot clap?
A Clock
How many months have 28 days?
All of them!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
You are running in a race and you pass the person in 2nd place. What place are you in now?
2nd place.
What figure of speech is this: "The classroom was as quiet as a mouse"?
Simile
What has a neck but no head?
A bottle
If you have 10 fish and 2 drown, how many fish are left?
10 Fish! Fish don't drown
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore!
A rectangle has a length of 8 inches and a width of 5 inches. What is its perimeter?
26 inches
Unscramble these letters to make an animal: T A N E L E P H
ELEPHANT
What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel
What has a head and a tail but no body?
A coin
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
I am an even number between 30 and 40. My digits add up to 9. What number am I?
36
What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short (add "er" to make shorter)
What has cities but no houses, forests but no trees, and rivers but no water?
A map
If you pass the person in last place during a race, what place are you in?
You cannot pass someone in last place if you are behind them in the race.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the corner!
Farmer Joe looks into his barn and sees some chickens and some cows. He counts 3 heads and 8 legs in total. How many chickens and how many cows are in the barn?
1 cow and 2 chickens. (1 cow has 4 legs, and 2 chickens have 2 legs each, making 8 legs total).
What figure of speech is this: "The stars danced in the sky"?
Personification
The more you take away from me, the bigger I get. What am I?
A man shaves several times a day but still has a beard, so what is his job?
He is a barber.
Why are ghosts such bad liars?
You can see right through them!