Badly Described Disney Movies
Small men find apple lover
Snow White
Poetry but Rizz
Songs of Solomon
Happy
Teacher Joy
A mulch made up of carbs, a bacteria and liquid superheated into a brick
Bread
Stone
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
water loves me
Moana
DRAGONS AND SCORPION WITH HUMAN FACES
Revelations
Ice Bear
Teacher Nathan
reddish Green leaves left in the ground in heated dirt containers to allow microbial growth and action within producing a funky smell and tangy flavor
Kimchi
No
Inde Navarrette
goldilocks but feet
Cinderella
Roasting the Jews in modern day Italy
Romans
The Long One
Teacher Teddy
the carcass of dead animals boiled for its essence which is then, by some sort of magic, turned into a powder which is combined with elongated rubbery strands in a dehydrated state and finally sealed like a demon within a cup
Cup Ramen
A highly stressed culinary gatekeeper who achieved global dominance by violently screaming profanities into the faces of weeping amateur chefs, veins bulging from his forehead as he aggressively dissects charred animal flesh and demands to know the exact thermal status of a piece of raw fish.
Gordan Ramasy
girl hates dogs but likes clothes
101 Dalmatians
My house burned down with everything in it and my friends judged me
Job
Korean Shaq
Teacher John
An emulsified concoction of animal parts salted to a degree the Dead Sea would be ashamed to be called salty. This slurry of meat is canned into metallic cages, packed into a brick of what could only be called a disgrace to nature and sealed shut to be called upon when any creature desires to consume such atrocity
Spam
baby
Justin Beiber
lifeguard with a fork
the Little Mermaid
Jonah
Twice Song
Teacher Tom
A thick, congealed crimson ooze made from crushed nightshade berries heavily spiked with refined cane crystals and distilled vinegar, engineered to mimic the look of arterial spray
Ketchup
Happy Fat Man
Jack Black