Meanwhile in Teams...
Caller Clichés
Welcome to the Chaos
Corporate Translator
Meme Team
100
"Can you look at this?"
What is "Can you do this for me?"
100
A customer calls about a change that "was already submitted." After investigation, you discover this infamous culprit.
What is the Red Amend Button of Doom?
100
The time of day call volume mysteriously triples
What is lunch time
100
When the phrase, "When you have a chance..." is used, it actually means this
What is "I need this yesterday"
100
The feeling when a caller says, "You've been so helpful today!"
What is the Oprah meme: "You get a compliment! You get a compliment! Everybody gets a compliment!" 🎉😄
200
You meant to send a private message to one coworker but accidentally sent it here.
What is, the team chat or CSR Group chat
200
This phrase usually means the customer hasn't checked their email yet.
What is "Nobody told me that"
200
The thing that happens immediately after saying, "Today seems slow"
What is nonstop inbound calls
200
This company approved tool is used to re-word total anger and frustration into professionalism
What is Co-Pilot
200
When it's close to lunch break and the queue starts blowing up
What is "Aight, I'mma head out"
300
The Teams status everyone questions when a coworker has been "Away" for 6 straight hours.
What is "Are they on vacation?"
300
The caller who explains the entire story from 1997 before getting to today's issue.
Who is "Long Story Short" customer?
300
This phrase is most commonly heard after a release has gone live
What is "Finys is spinning"
300
The internal thought when a meeting is deemed unnecessary
What is "This could have been an email"
300
When you're 1 minute from the end of your day and someone says, "I have one quick question."
What is "Noooooooooo"
400
The Teams message that creates immediate anxiety
What is "Do you have a sec?"
400
The type of customer who begins with "I know it's not your fault, but..."
Who is someone who absolutely believes it's your fault?
400
A customer says, "I'm sure it's something simple," moments before describing the most complicated situation you've heard all week.
What is famous last words?
400
"I think I may have clicked something."
What is "I definitely clicked on something"
400
Schedules PTO six months in advance, just for a release to go live the same week
What is "Bad Luck Brian"
500
You type a whole response, then see "Melissa is typing..." and quickly delete it.
What is, a Teams game of Chicken?
500
Their policy number/account number
What is "The information the customer will absolutely not have in front of them"
500
The mythical land where staffing is perfect, all systems work, call volume is steady, and nobody has called in with attitude.
What is Narnia
500
The customer is waiting while you explain, "Sorry, the system is just taking a little longer than normal to load."
What is customer services' biggest lie?
500
The look exchanged between coworkers when an interesting call comes through.
What is the Jim-from-The-Office stare?