Emotion Regulation
Being able to handle your feelings without totally losing it.
What is emotion regulation?
3 interpersonal effectiveness skills
GIVE, FAST, DEARMAN
Catching a negative thought and noticing it without immediately believing it.
What is observing thoughts?
Saying “no” to something you don’t want to do without feeling guilty.
What is setting boundaries?
Your friend wants you to skip class, but you say no and explain why staying matters to you.
What is using DEAR MAN or setting boundaries?
The brain’s “alarm system” that freaks out fast when something feels scary or intense.
What is the amygdala?
Not apologizing for things that aren’t actually your fault.
Hint: Skill
What is FAST (be Fair / no Apologies unnecessarily)?
Being fully in the moment instead of zoning out or being on autopilot.
What is being present?
Instead of ghosting someone, you clearly communicate what’s bothering you.
What is assertive communication?
You apologize for everything—even stuff that’s not your fault—and are working to stop.
What is improving self-respect (FAST skills)?
This skill reminds you to pause instead of reacting: Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed.
What is STOP?
Listening and showing you care about the other person’s feelings.
Hint: Check your skills
What is “Validate”?
Paying attention to what’s happening right now instead of stressing about the past or future.
What is mindfulness?
Saying yes to everything and then feeling burnt out and annoyed after.
What is people-pleasing?
Your friend starts texting paragraphs saying you “ignored them,” your heart starts racing, and you want to fire back something savage—but instead you pause, read it again, and respond calmly saying you were busy and will talk later.
What is using STOP + mindfulness + DEAR MAN + boundaries?
Things that instantly set you off or bring up strong emotions.
What are triggers?
This part of DEAR MAN is about sticking to your request even if someone tries to distract you or say no at first.
What is “Appear confident & Mindful”?
This state is where your thinking brain and emotional brain are balanced.
What is Wise Mind?
Realizing you’re not responsible for other people’s feelings or reactions.
What is emotional boundaries?
You feel like isolating and canceling everything, but you push yourself to show up for something small instead.
What is opposite action + emotion regulation + wise mind?
Man, I am about to bite someone's head off!! What could I ask myself?
What is: HALT
Using humor or a relaxed vibe to keep things from getting too tense.
What is “Easy manner”?
Letting your thoughts exist without instantly being like “this is trash” or “I’m the worst.”
What is nonjudgmental stance?
This is when you not only say your limit, but actually follow through (even if it’s awkward).
What is enforcing a boundary?
Your friend is going through it and venting nonstop, and you listen and validate them—but also let them know you can’t be on call 24/7.
What is GIVE skills + boundaries + emotional regulation?