🔋 PLEASE!
What does the PL in PLEASE remind us to do?
Treat physical illness / take care of physical health.
What is an action urge?
What an emotion makes you feel like doing.
What emotion is shown above the water on the Anger Iceberg?
Anger. 😡
What is a primary emotion?
Your initial/first emotional response to a situation.
You feel an emotion but pretend you're completely fine and refuse to acknowledge it.
Are you Stuffing or Sticking?
Stuffing. 📦
Name the PLEASE skill connected to getting enough rest.
Balance Sleep.
Complete the sentence:“An urge is not a ______.”
Command
Name THREE emotions that could possibly be underneath anger.
Possible answers: Hurt, embarrassment, rejection, disappointment, fear, jealousy, loneliness, overwhelm, shame, insecurity, grief, etc.
What is a secondary emotion?
An emotion that develops in response to another emotion.
You keep replaying an argument from three days ago and make yourself angry every time you think about it.
Stuffing or Sticking?
Sticking. 🪤
True or False: Being hungry, exhausted, sick, or physically drained can make emotions harder to regulate.
true
In Urge Surfing, an urge is compared to what?
A wave. 🌊
True or False: The Anger Iceberg means you're never actually angry—you're always feeling something else.
False! Anger is a real emotion and can be primary. The iceberg asks whether anger is the whole story.
Your friends don't invite you somewhere.
First you feel hurt. Then you become angry about being left out.
Which is primary and which is secondary?
Primary = hurt. Secondary = anger.
What does it mean to treat an emotion like a guest? 🚪
Allow yourself to notice and experience it, understand why it's there, respond appropriately, and allow it to eventually move through instead of pushing it away or continuously feeding it.
You slept for three hours, skipped breakfast, and someone makes a small comment that normally wouldn't bother you. Today, you're furious. What Emotion Regulation concept might explain why your reaction feels stronger?
Increased emotional vulnerability / low emotional battery.
You're angry and have the urge to send a disrespectful text. What could Urge Surfing look like BEFORE you decide what to do?
Notice/name the urge, observe what it feels like in the body, breathe, wait, allow the intensity to change, and avoid automatically acting on it.
Someone makes a joke about you in front of everyone. You immediately say, “Say it again!” and become angry.
Name TWO emotions that could possibly exist underneath the anger.
Possible answers: Embarrassment, hurt, shame, rejection, fear, etc.
You cry because you're sad. Then you become embarrassed because other people saw you crying.
Which is primary and which is secondary?
Primary = sadness. Secondary = embarrassment.
Your friend leaves you on read.
You feel rejected → become angry → want to send a disrespectful message.
Name TWO places where you could interrupt this emotional chain.
Notice/check the primary emotion, pause before acting, Urge Surfing, Opposite Action if appropriate, use another regulation/distress-tolerance skill, reconsider assumptions, choose not to send the message, etc.
Explain WHY taking care of your body is considered an Emotion Regulation skill.
Physical condition can affect emotional vulnerability. When we're hungry, exhausted, sick, etc., managing emotions and stress can become harder.
You're nervous about presenting in class. You're safe, but your urge is to skip class to avoid the presentation. What Emotion Regulation skill might help you approach instead of avoid? Explain.
Opposite Action—if the fear/avoidance doesn't fit the facts or isn't effective, approaching the situation can be the opposite action.
Why can looking underneath your Anger Iceberg help you respond differently to a situation?
Understanding the emotions underneath gives you more information about what you're actually experiencing and may help you choose a response that addresses the real issue.
True or False:
Anger is ALWAYS a secondary emotion.
Explain your answer.
False. Anger can be primary or secondary depending on the situation and when it occurs.
Someone embarrasses you in front of your friends.
You feel embarrassed → become angry → want to yell at them.
Walk us through THREE Emotion Regulation concepts/skills that could help before you respond.
Identify primary/secondary emotions → notice the action urge → Urge Surf → look under the Anger Iceberg → use Opposite Action if appropriate → choose an effective response.