Coping skills
The teacher announces Chloe's name as the next person to present their final project. As she walks to the front of the room, her throat tightens up, her mouth goes completely dry, and she feels like she can't catch her breath. What coping skill can she use?
Chloe places both feet flat on the floor and firmly grips the edges of the podium (Grounding Contact to feel stable). She takes a quiet, 4-second inhale, holds for 4 seconds, exhales for 4 seconds, and holds empty for 4 seconds.
You feel exposed, judged, or laughed at in front of other people.
It sounds like "mad", but specifically....?
Humiliated
You sit down at the lunch table and start talking. Your friend immediately shifts their phone from the table into their pocket.
Good or bad sign about the conversation?
Good sign, they're giving full and undivided attention
You just got your first part-time job working at a local store. Your supervisor asks if you can cover a Saturday afternoon shift. However, your friends are planning a spontaneous trip to an amusement park that exact same afternoon. Explain an example of self-control.
Work the shift responsibly, build a reputation as a reliable employee, and use your hard-earned paycheck to plan a bigger weekend trip later.
You just got a biology midterm back, and you scored a 58% (F). You studied for three nights, and you feel a heavy wave of defeat and embarrassment. Your brain immediately starts spinning. Explain an example of positive self-talk.
This grade hurts and I’m disappointed, but one bad test doesn't define my intelligence. I need to change how I study and talk to the teacher about what I missed.
Jordan sees photos on Instagram of his entire friend group hanging out at a diner without him. He instantly feels a hot wave of anger and humiliation in his chest, and his hands start shaking. What coping skill can he use?
Jordan goes to the bathroom and splashes freezing cold water on his face.(Slows heart rate)
You feel a bitter, painful sting when seeing someone else's success because you want it for yourself.
It sounds like "gross/bad" but specifically...?
Envious/Jealous
At lunch, Sam makes a joke about a classmate's old shoes. Everyone laughs except for Alex, who instantly looks down at his own shoes, goes quiet, and starts picking at his lunch. Why does Alex seem upset?
Sam crossed a boundary with the joke and it hurt Alex's feelings.
You feel tired after a long day of school and want to collapse on the couch with video games, but you also planned to go for a 30-minute run to train for an upcoming team tryout. Explain an example of self-control.
You sit down at a lunch table with a group of classmates. As soon as you sit down, two of them look at each other, whisper something, and giggle. Your chest tightens, and you assume they are mocking your outfit. Explain an example of positive self-talk.
I don't actually know what they are laughing about, and it might have nothing to do with me. I like my outfit, and I'm going to focus on talking to the person next to me.
Maya looks at her school portal at 8:00 PM on Sunday. She realizes she has a major history paper due Monday morning that she hasn't started. Her heart starts racing, her stomach hurts, and she feels completely paralyzed by panic. What coping skill can he use?
Maya takes two quick inhales through her nose, followed by a long, slow exhale through her mouth to drop her heart rate. She then commits to typing for just two minutes
Someone I trusted broke a promise and talked behind my back.
This sounds like "hurt", but specifically...?
Betrayed
You walk up to your friend's desk. They have one earbud out but keep the other one in while you talk.
Are they ready to have a long conversation or hinting they are busy?
They are busy, but willing to have a short chat.
You have a major chemistry exam on Tuesday morning, and your friends invited you out to a movie and pizza night on Friday. If you go, you won't have time to study this weekend. Explain an example of self-control.
You are sitting on the bench waiting to check into a high-stakes basketball game. The score is tied, and your coach calls your name. Your palms are sweating, your heart is pounding against your ribs, and you are terrified of making a game-losing turnover. How do you talk to yourself?
My heart is racing because my body is excited and ready to play, not because I'm failing. I've practiced this play a hundred times—just focus on defense first.
Marcus opens his phone after dinner and sees 87 unread messages in his main friend group chat. They are arguing intensely about a misunderstanding, taking sides, and demanding Marcus chime in to say who is right. His phone is buzzing every two seconds, and he feels a heavy knot of anxiety and dread in his chest.
Marcus physically turns his phone completely off and places it inside a drawer in a different room to remove the immediate threat cue. He then sits down and focuses entirely on a physical sensation—like drinking a warm mug of tea or listening to one specific song
You feel completely disconnected from the people around you.
This sounds like "sad" but specifically....?
Isolated
Maya wants to ask Jordan a question about homework. Jordan is sitting at his desk with headphones on, leaning forward, and furiously typing on his laptop. What social cue is Jordan giving off?
Jordan is busy with completing his task and looks like he does not want to be bothered.
You've been saving up for a used car or a summer trip, but a pair of limited-edition sneakers you've wanted for months just went on sale today. You have just enough money in your savings jar to buy them right now. Explain an example of self-control.
You are scrolling through social media and see a vacation photo of a classmate who looks absolutely flawless, athletic, and perfectly happy. You look down at yourself in your sweatpants and feel an instant wave of insecurity and physical self-loathing. How can you talk to yourself?
I'm looking at a carefully curated highlight reel, not real life. My body is healthy, it gets me where I need to go, and I don't need to look like anyone else to be worthy.
After a grueling day of classes, a failed math quiz, and a stressful sports practice, Taylor walks through the front door. Their parent immediately asks, "Did you take out the trash like I asked?" Taylor feels an overwhelming urge to scream and throw their backpack. What coping skill can he use?
They say, "I'm super overwhelmed, give me five minutes," go to their room, and do 15 wall-pushes, push-ups, or squeeze a pillow as hard as they can. Channeling the physical energy releases the tension safely.
You shared a real, honest feeling and someone swatted it away like it didn't matter.
It sounds like "mad", but specifically...?
Invalidated
You are telling your friend a long, super exciting story about a video game update during lunch. You notice they keep looking down at their phone screen, offering delayed "mhm" sounds, and haven't made eye contact in two minutes. What should you do?
It is 11:30 PM on a school night, and your phone is buzzing with notifications from a group chat where everyone is sharing funny memes. You have an important presentation first thing in the morning. Explain an example of self-control.
You are taking your driver's license road test. Five minutes into the drive, you accidentally hit the curb while trying to parallel park. Your face gets completely hot, your hands start shaking on the steering wheel, and you still have 15 minutes left of the test. Explain an example of positive self-talk.
That was a frustrating mistake, but it happened and it's over. One mistake doesn't mean an automatic fail. I need to take a deep breath and focus entirely on the next turn.