Communication Patterns
Expressing thoughts, feelings, and needs respectfully and honestly while also respecting others.
Assertive Communication
Indirectly expressing anger or resentment through sarcasm, avoidance, procrastination, or silent treatment.
Passive-Aggressive Communication
the family member who appears successful, responsible, and high-achieving. They often try to bring pride and stability to the family and may take on excessive responsibility at a young age.
The Hero
is the belief that family members are emotionally and physically safe with one another, can depend on each other, and will act with honesty, respect, consistency, and care.
Trust in the family
Comfortable with closeness and independence
Able to ask for help when needed
Generally trusts others
Can regulate emotions in healthy ways
Secure Attachment
Avoiding expressing needs, opinions, or feelings to prevent conflict or rejection.
Passive Communication
Refusing to discuss problems, emotions, or conflict. Family members may “shut down” difficult conversations.
Avoidant Communication
the person who is blamed for many of the family's problems. Their behavior may draw attention away from deeper family issues.
The Scapegoat
the willingness to take responsibility for one’s actions, choices, and behaviors, including acknowledging mistakes and accepting the consequences of those actions.
Accountability
Discomfort with vulnerability
Strong emphasis on self-reliance
Difficulty expressing emotions or asking for help
May withdraw during stress
Avoidant Attachment
Expressing feelings in a way that is hostile, blaming, intimidating, or disrespectful.
Aggressive Communication
Responding to feedback with excuses, denial, blame, or self-protection instead of listening openly.
Defensive Communication
withdraws from family conflict by becoming invisible and self-sufficient. They avoid drawing attention to themselves.
Lost Child
a painful emotional experience in which a person feels flawed, unworthy, bad, or unacceptable as a person.
Shame
Fear of rejection or abandonment
Strong need for reassurance
Difficulty tolerating uncertainty in relationships
May experience intense emotional reactions
Anxious Attachment
Emotionally withdrawing, shutting down, or refusing to engage during conversations or conflict.
Stonewalling
Dismissing, minimizing, or criticizing another person’s feelings or experiences.
Invalidating Communication
uses humor, charm, or entertainment to reduce tension and distract the family from problems.
The Mascot
taking responsibility for harm caused to another person and making sincere efforts to repair the damage through honest words, changed behavior, and corrective actions when possible.
Making Amends
Desire for connection combined with fear of getting hurt
Difficulty trusting others
Push-pull relationship patterns
May feel overwhelmed by emotions and relationships
Disorganized Attachment
Communication with weak emotional boundaries where privacy and independence are limited.
Enmeshed Communication
Involving a third person in conflicts instead of addressing issues directly with the person involved.
Triangulation
the family member who is viewed as "the problem" because they show the most obvious symptoms of distress (such as behavioral, emotional, or mental health difficulties). In family systems theory, their symptoms may reflect broader problems within the family system
The Identified Patient
the process of recovering emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually from painful experiences, stress, trauma, illness, or unhealthy patterns.
Healing
This refers to the way individuals typically relate to other people.
Attachment Styles