Active Listening
Two things you can do to show someone you are listening
Let them finish speaking, reflect what you heard (summarize what they said and repeat it back to them), make eye contact, put distractions away, nod
What does it mean to validate someone's feelings?
Example: Showing that you hear, acknowledge, and understand their emotional experience.
What is one example of showing disrespect?
Examples: Talking over someone, mocking someone, yelling at someone
A caregiver reminds you to do your chores for the third time. What might they be feeling?
Examples: Frustrated, tired, overwhelmed, or worried that responsibilities aren't being shared.
Name one sign that you might be getting too upset to have a productive conversation.
Examples: Raised voice, racing heart, clenched fists, crying, shutting down, or feeling overwhelmed.
True or false: listening to someone means you have to agree with them.
False. You can listen and understand someone's perspective without agreeing.
True or false: Validating someone's feelings means you agree with their behavior.
Example: False. You can validate a feeling while setting limits on behavior.
Name two ways you can show respect when someone is talking.
Listen without interrupting, face the person when they are talking to you
Mom/dad tries to help, but you feel criticized. What might each person be experiencing at the same time?
Examples: You may feel judged or misunderstood, while the caregiver may be worried, trying to help, or unsure how to communicate effectively.
What is an example of an I statement that can help decrease escalation in a conflict?
Example: I feel overwhelmed/frustrated when there is a mess left by others in the house because then it feels like everything falls on me and no one cares. Would you please be considerate and pick up after yourself?
The difference between listening to respond and listening to understand.
Listening to respond means focusing on what you'll say next. Listening to understand means focusing on the other person's experience and meaning.
Someone says, “I'm really frustrated.” What is one validating response?
Example: “I can see that you're frustrated. What do you need right now? or Do you want to tell me what happened?”
Why is it important to respect someone's feelings, even if you don't understand them?
Their feelings are real to them, and dismissing them can make them feel unheard or unsafe
Why might a teen have strong feelings about something that seems small to an adult?
Example: The situation may connect to past experiences, uncertainty, feeling powerless, or other stressors the adult may not see.
How can two people both have valid feelings about the same situation, even when they disagree about what happened?
Example: They may have different experiences, information, needs, and perspectives. Understanding one doesn't require dismissing the other.
Someone is talking, but you're already thinking about your comeback. What active listening skill could you use instead?
Example: Pause and focus on what they're saying before responding.
A family member shares something upsetting, and you immediately want to explain why they are wrong. What could you do instead?
Example: Pause, listen fully, reflect what you heard, and validate their feelings before sharing your own perspective.
You need a break during a disagreement. How can you ask for one respectfully?
Example: “I'm getting overwhelmed right now. Can we take a break and come back to this later?”
Mom or dad says no to something you really want to do. What are three reasons mom or dad might say no besides wanting to control you?
Examples: Safety concerns, finances, scheduling, household expectations, or needing more information.
True or false: Taking a break during an argument means you're avoiding the problem.
False. A break can help people calm down so they can return to the conversation more effectively.
A family member says something you disagree with. How can you show you understand their point of view?
Example: Paraphrase their perspective and ask if you understood correctly before sharing your own.
Someone says, “Nobody in this family understands me.” What is one question you could ask to understand them better?
Example: “Can you tell me what happened that made you feel that way?”
Can you respect someone while telling them that their behavior hurt you? How?
Example: Yes. Explain the impact calmly, use “I” statements, and focus on the behavior rather than insulting the person.
A teen walks away during an argument to calm down. The caregiver thinks they're being ignored. What might each person need to understand?
Example: The teen may need space to regulate, while the caregiver may need reassurance that the conversation isn't being avoided indefinitely.
Why is it often better to resolve a disagreement after calming down rather than while emotions are at their highest?
Example: It can improve communication, reduce impulsive reactions, and make it easier to understand each other's perspectives.