Grief 101
Name the 5 stages of grief
Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.” Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?” Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.” Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.” Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”
Name some ways to cope with grief
1. Turn to friends and family members – Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. accept the assistance that’s offered. Oftentimes, people want to help but don’t know how, so tell them what you need – whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or help with funeral arrangements.
2.Join a support group – Grief can feel very lonely, even when you have loved ones around. Sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can help.
3. Talk to a therapist or grief counselor – If your grief feels like too much to bear, call a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.
The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.
MYTH! Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.
What is one supportive thing you could say when a friend says, "I really miss them."
I'm here for you.
Do you want to talk about them?
I'm sorry youre hurting.
You dont have to go through this alone.
Name one sign that someone might be grieving.
Quieter, more emotional, angry/irritable, stop participating in activities, isolate themselves, etc.
Does grief ever go away?
Yes and no, it will lessen over time, but even years after a loss, especially at special events such as a family wedding or the birth of a child, we may still experience a strong sense of grief.
How do you support a grieving person?
If someone you care about has suffered a loss, you can help them heal by asking about their feelings, spending time just being with them, and listening when they want to talk.
It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.
MYTH! Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.
Your friend starts crying while talking about someone they lost. What could you do?
Stay with them.
Listen.
Offer tissues.
Ask if they want to talk.
Sit quietly with them.
Why might someone hide their grief?
They dont want others to worry, afraid of judgement, dont want to look weak, dont know how to talk about it, they no one will understand, etc.
How does someone go through the stages of grief?
Everyone is different. Some people need more time in certain stages, some people skip stages, some people go back and forth through the stages. Grief is a roller coaster.
What do you need to make sure you do when you are grieving?
When you’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.
If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.
MYTH! Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.
Your friend says, "I should be over this by now." What could you say?
Everyone heals differently.
It's okay to still miss them.
Take the time you need.
Give an example of grief that isnt caused by death.
Parents divorcing, a breakup, losing a friendship, moving away, changing schools, foster care placement, etc.
Name some common feelings related to grief
1. Shock and disbelief – It can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth.
2. Sadness – Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.
3. Guilt – You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn’t say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done.
4. Anger – Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry at yourself, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.
5. Fear – A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.
What are some ways to take care of yourself when you are grieving?
1. Face your feelings. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.
2.Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Write about your loss in a journal.
3. Look after your physical health. The mind and body are connected. When you feel good physically, you’ll also feel better emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising.
4. Don’t use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either.
5. Plan ahead for grief “triggers”. Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can reawaken memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. If you’re sharing a holiday or lifecycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.
Grief should last about a year.
Myth! Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.
You friend seems quieter than usual after a loss. What's one thing you could do?
Check in on them.
Invite them to spend time together.
Ask how they're doing.
Let them know you're thinking about them.
Why is it important not to judge someone's grief by how they look?
Everyone grieves differently. Some people hide their emotions, some people cry, other people don't. Grief isn't always visible. Someone may seem okay but still be hurting.
Name some physical symptoms that can happen as someone grieves
We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and insomnia
What is an important factor when grieving?
The support of other people. Even if you aren’t comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal.
You will go through all 5 stages of grief
Myth! Fact: Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through any of these stages. And if you do go through these stages of grief, you probably won’t experience them in a neat, sequential order, so don’t worry about what you “should” be feeling or which stage you’re supposed to be in.
Your friend says they don't want to talk. What is a respectful way to support them?
Respect their space.
Let them know you're available.
Check in again later.
Sit with them if they want company.
Send a kind text or note.
Can someone grieve a future they thought they were going to have? Give an example.
Yes. People can grieve the loss of future plans, dreams, or expectations, even if no one has died.