The 3 Relational Disruptors
This disruptor happens when someone emotionally shuts down, stonewalls, or isolates to avoid conflict or vulnerability.
What is Avoidance?
This cognitive trap causes the brain to highlight the "good feelings" of past substance use while muting the painful consequences.
What is Euphoric Recall?
People often wear this metaphorical item to hide their true emotions or vulnerabilities from others.
What is a metaphoric mask.
Taking slow, deep breaths to activate the body's relaxation response during intense cravings is an example of this.
What is a grounding technique (or breathwork)?
Recognizing 30 days, 90 days, or 1 year of recovery helps build momentum and is known as celebrating a recovery ___.
What is a milestone?
This disruptor occurs when unexpressed stress builds up and turns into sudden angry outbursts or impulsive drinking/using.
What is Impulsive Behavior?
Most intense physical cravings typically peak and begin to fade within this timeframe if you do not act on them.
What is 10 to 15 minutes?
Refusing to acknowledge the reality of a situation or addiction is this common psychological defense mechanism.
What is denial?
The capacity to withstand negative or uncomfortable emotional states without reacting impulsively or using substances.
What is distress tolerance?
An individual's belief in their own capability to execute behaviors necessary to produce specific performance attainments and stay sober.
What is self-efficacy?
This disruptor occurs when unexpressed stress builds up and turns into sudden angry outbursts or impulsive drinking/using.
What is Impulsive Behavior?
This technique involves mentally walking through what happens after the initial 30 minutes of using—focusing on the next morning's hangover, guilt, or legal consequences.
What is "Playing the Tape All the Way Through"?
Blaming others or external circumstances for one's own actions or relapse is an example of this defense mechanism.
What is projection (or rationalization)?
A cognitive strategy that involves pausing to evaluate the direct results of an action before making a decision.
What is examining choices and consequences (or thinking through the drink/use)?
Moving away from defining yourself solely by past substance use and rebuilding a positive sense of self represents this type of personal evolution.
What is identity growth (or personal development)?
According to Dr. Tian Dayton, this type of trauma causes normal family communication to break down into survival reactions.
What is Relational Trauma?
When a person uses substances out of "boredom" or late at night because there is "nothing to do," the craving is often hiding this underlying state.
What is low stimulation / isolation / unaddressed emotional distress?
Minimizing the impact of substance use by saying "I only drink on weekends" or "It's not as bad as others" is known as this.
What is minimization?
People, places, or emotional states that trigger strong cravings or urge you to use are commonly referred to as these.
What are emotional triggers?
Identifying core personal principles—like honesty, family, health, or integrity—helps guide decision-making in recovery and defines these.
What are personal values?
This is the long-term cost when a person relies heavily on Avoidance ("wanting to be left alone") in an intimate relationship.
What is loss of intimacy/connection (or partner feeling shut out/abandoned)?
This part of the brain is responsible for high-level decision-making and executive function, but it shuts down when survival stress takes over.
What is the Prefrontal Cortex?
Diverting attention away from uncomfortable personal topics by making jokes or changing the subject in group therapy is an example of this.
Answer: What is deflection (or humor as a defense)?
Delaying action when a craving hits by waiting 15 minutes, knowing that intense urges naturally peak and fade, is called riding this metaphor.
What is urge surfing?
Developing this mindset allows individuals to view setbacks as opportunities to learn rather than personal failures.
What is a growth mindset?