DEAR MAN
What does the "D" in DEARMAN stand for?
Describe
What does the "F" stand for in FAST?
Fair
What is a personal boundary?
A limit you set to protect your needs, feelings, time, or well-being.
What is one healthy way to handle a disagreement with someone?
Stay calm, listen to the other person's perspective, and communicate respectfully.
What does it mean to validate someone's feelings?
Showing someone that their feelings make sense or are understandable, even if you don't agree with them.
What does the "E" in DEARMAN stand for?
Express
What does the "A" stand for in FAST?
Apologies
Your friend asks you to hang out, but you need time alone to recharge. What is one way you can communicate your boundary respectfully?
“I appreciate the invite, but I need some time to myself tonight.”
True or False: The goal of resolving a conflict is always to prove that you are right.
False! The goal is to understand each other, solve the problem, or reach a compromise.
Your friend says, “I'm so upset because nobody invited me to hang out.” Which response is validating?
A. “You're overreacting. It's not a big deal.”
B. “You shouldn't care what other people think.”
C. “That sounds really hurtful. I can understand why you're upset.”
Answer: C!
What does the "A" in DEARMAN stand for?
Assert
What does the "S" stand for in FAST?
True or False: Setting a boundary means you are being selfish or mean.
False! Boundaries help protect your well-being and support healthy relationships.
You and a friend disagree about what activity to do together. What is one way you could reach a compromise?
Take turns choosing activities or find an activity you both enjoy.
True or False: Validating someone's feelings means you have to agree with their behavior.
False! You can validate someone's emotions without agreeing with their actions.
Reinforce
What does the "T" stand for in FAST?
Truthful
Someone keeps pressuring you to share personal information after you have said you are uncomfortable. What is one way you can reinforce your boundary?
Calmly repeat your limit, such as, “I'm not comfortable talking about that, and I'd like you to respect my privacy.”
Someone says something that upsets you during an argument. What can you do to avoid making the conflict worse?
Pause, take a few deep breaths, and explain how you feel using “I” statements instead of blaming them.
Someone tells you, “I'm a failure because I got a bad grade.” How can you validate their feelings without agreeing with their negative self-judgment?
“I can see how disappointed you are. You worked hard, and it's frustrating when things don't go the way you hoped.”
What do M, A, and N stand for in DEARMAN
Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate
What does GIVE stand for?
Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy Manner
Your friend gets upset when you say no to a favor and tells you that you are a bad friend. How can you maintain your boundary while still showing respect for their feelings?
Acknowledge their feelings without changing your limit. For example, “I understand you're disappointed, but I'm not able to help right now.”
During a disagreement, the other person becomes defensive and starts raising their voice. How can you respond effectively while still standing up for yourself?
Stay as calm as possible, acknowledge their perspective without necessarily agreeing, and state your needs clearly. If things escalate, suggest taking a break and returning to the conversation when both people are calmer.
Your friend is angry with you because you canceled plans, but you had a legitimate reason. How can you validate their feelings while still explaining your perspective?
“I understand why you're disappointed, and I'm sorry our plans fell through. I had something come up that I needed to handle.”