Communication
What does it mean to be assertive?
Expressing what you think, feel, or need clearly and respectfully while respecting the other person.
What is a boundary?
A limit that communicates what you are comfortable or uncomfortable with.
Name one thing you can do when you’re angry before responding.
Take a break, breathe, count, walk away, use a coping skill, or wait until you’re calmer.
Name one quality of a healthy friend.
Trustworthy, respectful, supportive, honest, reliable, caring, encouraging, etc.
Someone is looking away while you’re talking. Name one possible reason.
They might be distracted, nervous, uncomfortable, tired, thinking, or simply have a different eye-contact style.
Name one difference between assertive and aggressive communication.
Assertive = respectful and clear.
Aggressive = disrespectful, threatening, or trying to control someone.
Name one thing you can have a boundary about.
Money, personal space, physical touch, belongings, time, privacy, relationships, phone/social media, etc.
Someone insults you during an argument. What’s one thing you could do?
Stay calm and say, “I’m willing to talk, but I’m not going to argue while we’re insulting each other.”
What’s one way to show someone you care?
Listen to them, check in, spend time together, help them, remember something important to them, etc.
Someone gives short answers. What could you do?
Ask an open-ended question or give them space.
Someone says, “You never listen to me!” What could you say instead?
“I want to understand. Can you tell me what you need me to hear?”
Someone asks to borrow your phone. You don’t want them to. What could you say?
“No, I don’t want to lend out my phone.”
Turn “You’re so annoying!” into an assertive statement.
“I’m getting frustrated. Can we take a break?”
What can you say to a friend who is having a bad day?
“I’m sorry you’re having a rough day. Do you want to talk about it?”
Someone keeps checking their phone while you’re talking. What could that mean?
They could be distracted, expecting an important message, bored, busy, or simply checking something. We can’t know for sure without asking.
Give an example of an "I feel" statement
“I feel frustrated when my things are borrowed without asking.”
USE I FEEL... WHEN... BECAUSE
Your friend keeps showing up at your house without asking. What boundary could you set?
“Please text or call before coming over. I don’t want unexpected visitors.”
Create an assertive response to this: Someone starts yelling at you.
“I’m willing to talk, but I don’t want to be yelled at. Let’s talk when we’re calmer.”
Your friend cancels plans. What’s an unhealthy reaction?
Yelling, insulting them, threatening to end the friendship, repeatedly texting them, or assuming they don’t care.
Why is it important not to assume we know exactly what someone is thinking?
We can’t read minds. We may misunderstand what someone is thinking or feeling.
Act out active listening
Face the person, listen without interrupting, use appropriate eye contact, nod, and respond to what they said.
Act out a respectful way to say “No.”
“No, thank you. I’m not comfortable with that.”
How can you be assertive when: You disagree with someone but don’t want an argument.
"I understand your point. I see it differently, though.”
Your friend hasn’t texted you back all day. Name TWO possible explanations besides “They hate me.”
They’re busy.
Their phone died.
They’re working.
They’re sleeping.
They’re dealing with something personal.
They haven’t seen the message.
Demonstrate how you could check whether someone is okay without assuming.
“You seem quieter than usual. Are you okay?”