This core group rule ensures that what is said in the room stays in the room.
Hint: Fight Club Rule
What is confidentiality?
This style involves hiding your true feelings, avoiding conflict, and putting others' needs entirely before your own.
What is passive communication?
This healthy boundary style is clear, firm, yet flexible, allowing you to connect with safe people while keeping harm out.
What are healthy (or flexible) boundaries?
This acronym warns you to check your status when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
What is HALT?
This first letter of the acronym means your goal must be clear and well-defined, not vague like "get healthy."
What is Specific?
This basic rule requires members to wait their turn and focus entirely on the speaker without interrupting.
What is active listening? (or not interrupting)
This style uses blame, demands, yelling, or intimidation to get one's way without respecting others.
What is aggressive communication?
This boundary style is overly defensive, keeping everyone at a distance and preventing meaningful emotional connection.
What are rigid (or walls) boundaries?
Deep breathing, journaling, and calling a support contact are examples of this specific category of positive actions.
What are coping skills? (or tools)
This letter means you can track your progress with numbers, such as "attend 3 meetings per week."
What is Measurable?
This type of statement starts with a specific pronoun and helps members share feelings without making others defensive.
What are "I" statements?
This style uses sarcasm, hints, or the silent treatment to express anger indirectly.
What is passive-aggressive communication?
This weak boundary style involves oversharing, people-pleasing, and losing your own identity to please others.
What are porous (or weak) boundaries?
This term describes people, places, things, or emotions that cause a sudden, intense urge to use.
What is a trigger?
This letter ensures your goal is realistic and reachable, rather than setting the bar impossibly high.
What is Achievable (or Attainable)?
Doing this involves offering unasked-for solutions to another member's problems instead of just listening.
What is crosstalk? (or giving unsolicited advice)
This healthy style involves expressing your needs clearly, honestly, and respectfully while respecting others.
What is assertive communication?
This specific type of relationship dynamic occurs when you sacrifice your own boundaries to fix or rescue someone else.
What is codependency?
This internal coping strategy involves noticing your thoughts without judgment, anchoring yourself in the present moment.
What is mindfulness?
This letter reminds you that the goal must matter to your unique recovery journey, not just someone else's.
What is Relevant (or Realistic)?
This is the act of dominating the group's time or pulling the focus away from the recovery topic to yourself.
What is hijacking the group? (or monopolizing)
This complex style alternates between withdrawing silently and exploding with rage or manipulation later.
What is manipulative communication?
Setting a boundary is not meant to punish the other person; its primary purpose is to do this for yourself.
What is self-protection? (or safety / self-care)
This classic "5-4-3-2-1" technique uses your senses to bring your focus back to reality during a panic or craving.
What is the grounding technique?
This final letter means your goal includes a specific deadline, preventing you from putting it off forever.
What is Time-bound (or Timely)?