What is the skill DEAR MAN used for?
A DBT skill used for getting your needs met in a clear, effective way—without damaging the relationship or your self-respect.
Name that level:
Food, water, sleep
Physiological
Name that attachment style:
I feel comfortable with closeness and also being independent.
Secure
Name that role: Someone cracks jokes during serious or emotional moments
Mascot
What attachment style is most associated with porous boundaries?
Anxious
Name that boundary style:
I say yes to things even when I’m exhausted because I don’t want to disappoint people.
Porous/Loose Boundaries
Name that level:
Friendships, relationships, connection
Love and belonging
Name that attachment style:
“I want closeness but also feel scared or overwhelmed by it.”
Disorganized
Name that role: The one who acts out and gets blamed for problems.
Scapegoat
What are the two extremes of your window of tolerance?
Hypoarousal and hyperarousal
Name that boundary style:
I prefer to handle everything on my own and don’t ask for help.
Rigid
Trauma leading to constant hypervigilance and fight/flight/freeze responses impacts what level?
Safety
Codependency most often shows up in this type of attachment style
Anxious
Name that role: A child spends most of their time alone and avoids family conflict
Lost child
Name 3 ways to stay within your window of tolerance.
Distress tolerance skills (breathing, TIPP, distractions, grounding, move your body, stimulate senses, engage socially, ACCEPTS, IMPROVE) etc
What does GIVE stand for in interpersonal effectiveness? HINT: This is for relationship effectiveness.
Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy Manner
Negative self-talk and shame mostly interferes with a client meeting what level?
Esteem
Why might avoidant clients struggle in group therapy settings?
Discomfort with vulnerability, emotional closeness, and dependence on others
Name that role: The responsible overachiever who keeps everything together.
Hero
Clean discomfort is the natural, unavoidable discomfort that comes with growth, healing, or doing something that matters (AKA us being human).
Dirty discomfort is the extra suffering we add through avoidance, resistance, or unhelpful coping.
What does FAST stand for in interpersonal effectiveness? HINT: This is self-respect effectiveness.
Fair, No Apologies, Stick to your Values, Truthful
A client is high-achieving at work but feels empty, disconnected from purpose, and unsure who they are outside of external success. What level is primarily unmet?
Self-Actualization
This style uses deactivation strategies (distancing, minimizing needs).
Avoidant
Which role is most likely to maintain the addiction cycle unintentionally?
Enabler
What are the four sources of self-efficacy?
Verbal pursuasion, vicarious experiences, mastery experiences, and emotional/physiological states.