PRESIDENTIAL ROASTS
In 1973, he said, "I'm not a crook"... well then, maybe I'm not the host of "Jeopardy!"
Nixon
One Granny Smith every 24-hour period ensures that the physician will not be coming over to see you
An apple a day keeps the doctor away
The number values on one street sign are an adorable nod to Queens resident Alfred Butts, creator of this game
Scrabble
Mention my degree from clown college & my 5+ years of experience in balloon making when you draw up this document for me
Resume
I could feel the judge's blood start to boil after Sol's cell phone went off once again, its ringtone "My Humps" by this group
The Black Eyed Peas
In 1933 he got a horse named "New Deal"; I guess it didn't like its new owner because it went through a Great Depression
FDR
Those who plead for money should not be too picky about what they receive
Beggars can't be choosers
Leaving Brooklyn? Look up: the borough offers humorous exit signs reading "Fuhgeddaboudit" & this 2-word Yiddish plaint
Oy vey
I've got a quiz booth at Black Rock City; how long does it take to drive from Los Angeles to this annual festival in Nevada?
Burning Man
Sol's closing argument called this person, the term for the one who speaks for the jury, a bonehead
a foreman
You're No. 2! No, really, you're on the face of the $2 bill... that's how much your country thinks of you
Thomas Jefferson
Your Dalmatian has lived a long time now, so don't attempt to get him to jump through a fiery hoop for the first time
You can't teach old dogs new tricks
In 2017 she made an appearance near her old Midtown office for the dedication of Ms. Magazine Way
Gloria Steinem
Can you settle #dressgate from 2015 & reveal if that dress was really white & gold or these 2 colors? (It was those 2!)
blue & black
After multiple warnings about wearing silly wigs to trial, Sol got thrown in jail for this charge "of court"
contempt
He went by "Dutch" but was from Illinois; that's like Arkansas-born Bill Clinton being nicknamed "Ethiopian"
Ronald Reagan
It's not a good idea to criticize or applaud a novel based on the look of its dust jacket
Don't judge a book by its cover
River Avenue, which borders Yankee Stadium, tweaked one of its signs in 2014 to bear the name of this Hall of Fame relief pitcher
Mariano Rivera
I need to "tip off" my family that I hired a mohel to perform this Jewish ceremony for my baby boy--can you make an announcement?
a bris
Sol is constantly objecting, & when the judge rules against him with this other "O" word, Sol says, "Whatever"
overruled
Take a "Sesame Street" denizen & a city in Ohio to get the name of this 19th c. prez; don't blame me, I voted for Oscar Akron
Grover Cleveland
Neither rubles, nor euros nor dollar bills are organically produced by willows, poplars or redwoods
Money doesn't grow on trees
The locale of the sign? In the trio's words, "In case you wonder what all this means, we're funky fresh from" this nabe in Queens
Hollis
Which advocate for nonviolence would win in a fight, this "Walden" writer or Gandhi?
Thoreau
Sol always asks odd questions like "What's your sign?" during this French-named 2-word jury selection process
voir dire