I Was CC’d for Seven Fiscal Years
This champion has an ability called Shocking Orb. It fires an orb of energy in the target direction that deals magic damage to the first enemy hit and stuns them for o.75-2.25 seconds based on orb travel distance.
Who is Xerath
This map is one bridge, ten gremlins, zero macro, and somehow 42 minutes of emotional damage.
What is Howling Abyss?
This yordle’s mushrooms have violated more ankles, jungles, and international treaties than any champion reasonably should.
Who is Teemo?
This ranked currency disappears when you say, “We end on a win.”
What is LP / League Points?
You locked in your main, loaded into game, and immediately saw this message: “A summoner has disconnected.” This is the ancient ritual known as this.
What is the true League of Legends experience?
Acceptable: What is a remake? / What is client diff?
This champion ability Head Rush leaps to the target unit. If the target is an enemy, they deal physical damage, applies on-hit effects, triggers on-attack effects, stuns them for 0.85 seconds, and reduces their armor and magic resistance for 5 seconds.
Who is Briar
This is the sacred ARAM law that says once you throw the snowball, you are legally required to take it, even if it leads directly into five enemies and your obituary.
What is the Snowball/Mark-Dash law?
This support attached to another champion, went emotionally AFK, and caused the entire player base to debate whether she was “playing the game.”
Who is Yuumi?
This button is pressed immediately after a loss, before anyone has processed their emotions, hydrated, or remembered they have a body.
What is Play Again?
Acceptable: What is requeue?/Run it back
This phrase is used to explain every possible loss, including bad lanes, missed skillshots, unpaid taxes, and the fall of Shurima.
What is jungle diff?
This purple little tax accountant presses R, suppresses you, and forces your team to remember QSS exists.
Who is Malzahar?
This ARAM build philosophy says, “Yes, I know my champion has AD scaling, but have you considered full AP chaos?”
What is troll building?
This classic team decision involves starting Baron with no vision, losing the fight, giving the enemy Baron, and then pinging the jungler as if democracy demanded it.
What is a Baron throw?
This real-life objective is often sacrificed because “one quick game” turned into three games, a surrender vote, two remakes, and an emotional support snack.
What is sleep?
You lost 24 LP, gained 16 LP next game, and Riot told you everything is working correctly. This hidden matchmaking number is the invisible goblin responsible.
What is MMR?
This CC says, “You may cast spells, but your ankles are now property of Riot Games.”
What is Root / Snare?
This ancient ARAM tragedy occurs when your team has five melee champions into poke, waveclear, and emotional artillery from three screens away.
What is getting comp diffed?
This top-lane pick is considered a crime not because it is illegal, but because the enemy melee champion did not queue up to be bullied by a tiny crossbow landlord.
What is Vayne top?
This is when you say, “I’m not mad,” then immediately requeue with the emotional stability of a disconnected Yuumi.
What is coping?
This champion can go 0/10, miss every tornado, type “team?” in chat, and still somehow become a late-game federal emergency.
Who is Yasuo?
This item was the classic “no thank you” button against Malzahar, Skarner, and other champions with legally questionable personal space.
What is Quicksilver Sash / QSS?
This champion turns the bridge into a fishing simulator by hooking one poor soul into a five-person blender.
Who is Blitzcrank?
Acceptable: Who is Nautilus? / Who is Thresh?
This champion appears behind you, boxes your escape route, disappears, laughs, and leaves you wondering whether the real damage was psychological.
Who is Shaco?
This is the imaginary version of the next match where nobody flames, everyone groups, the client works, and joy briefly returns to Earth.
What is the perfect next game?
Acceptable: What is delusion?
This retired feature let players judge reported matches, proving that the only thing scarier than Riot discipline was giving League players jury duty.
What is The Tribunal?