Funny
Why didn't the hot dog star in the movies?
He couldn't find the right rolls!
People make me, save me, change me, and raise me. What am I?
Money
What kind of coat can you only put on when it's wet?
A coat of paint!
Which is faster: hot or cold?
Hot! Because you can "catch" a cold...
Why did the golf player wear two pairs of pants?
In case they got a hole in one!
Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
I start with an M, end with an X, and have any number of letters in me. What am I?
A mailbox!
What word has three double repeated letters in a row?
Bookkeeper!
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the basketball team?
Because she ran away from the ball!
What fur do we get from a tiger?
As fur away as possible!
What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get TOAD! (towed)
A seed with three letters in my name. Take away two and I still sound the same. What am I?
Pea
A clerk at the butcher shop is six feet tall and wears size 10 shoes. What does he weigh?
He weighs meat! It's his job.
Why can't you give the Disney character Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll... LET IT GO!
Why was the math book so sad?
Because it had so many problems!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they have honeycombs!
You GO at red, but STOP at green. What am I?
Watermelon!
What came first: the chicken, or the egg?
The egg! Dinosaurs were laying eggs long before there were chickens!
You can serve it, but never eat it. What is it?
A tennis ball! Or a volley ball.
Why did the Cyclops stop teaching?
Because he only had one pupil!
What superhero is terrible at their job because they always get lost and are always late?
Wander Woman!
I am a ball that can be rolled but never bounced or thrown. What am I?
An eyeball!
What 10-letter word starts with 'gas'?
Automobile!
How do you make the number one disappear, WITHOUT subtracting or multiplying by zero?
Add a "G" to the beginning and it's "gone"!
Which hand should you use to stir sugar into your coffee?
You should use a spoon, not your hand...