DIC(K)TATORS
Mostly responsible for what happened in September, this guy must have played a lot with planes as a child
Who is Osama Bin Laden
Known for his magic ability with liquids, this guy would have been fun at parties!
Who is Jesus
An upward nod given to another man signifies this casual greeting
What is "What's up?"
This item of clothing is kept in a drawer for a decade, has multiple holes, and is legally classified by its owner as "my good shirt"
What is a favorite graphic tee
This mythical destination is where a man claims he is going to find a specific item, only to stand in the middle of the room and shout "I don't see it!"
What is the fridge
Holds the world record in almost everything. Once went a full round of golf with all hole-in-ones! At least this is what the population of his country is told
Who is Kim Jong-Un
Austrian painter who unfortunately didn't experience a lot of success. Turned politician to much greater success
Who is Adolf Hitler
A downward nod given to another man signifies this formal acknowledgement
What is "Respect/Hello"
This is the exact number of underwear pairs a man packs for a three-day weekend trip, just in case he "accidentally soils himself" multiple times a day
What is 10-14
This is the automatic, defensive phrase a man will blurt out to an approaching store employee, even if he has been staring blankly at a wall of plumbing parts for 20 minutes
What is "no thanks, just looking"
This Soviet leader, whose name literally translates to "Man of Steel", ruled the USSR with an iron fist for nearly three decades
Who is Joseph Stalin
This ancient Mongolian conqueror was so "succesful" at expanding his empire that experts estimate roughly 1 in 200 men alive today are his direct descendants
Who is Genghis Khan
A subtle side-eye glance combined with a head tilt toward an exit means this
What is "We need to leave this place/conversation immediately"
This leather accessory is never replaced until it completely splits into two separate dimensions or disintegrates into dust
What is a wallet
This specific locations is the only place on earth where a man can go for 45 minutes, be on his phone and for once experience peace
What is the toilet/bathroom
This Roman dictator was famously warned by a seer to "beware the Ides of March", the exact day he was assassinated by his own senators
Who is Julius Caesar
This famous Renaissance artist shares his name with a pizza-loving, blue-mask-wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle who wielded twin swords
Who is Leonardo (Da Vinci)
A rapid, repeated double-tap on a man's own shirt pocket or pants pocket is a silent physical panic check to confirm he hasn't lost these three items
What is phone, keys and wallet
This is the sacred, ancient pair of sweatpants or gym shorts a man refuses to throw away, specifically reserved for the precise moment he gets home from work and declares he is "done for the day"
What is home pants
This is the exact destination a man is looking for when he turns down the volume of the car radio so he can "see better"
What is a parking spot
This eccentric Libyan dictator was famous for traveling everywhere with the "Amazonian Guard", an elite, all-female squad of bodyguards
Who is Muammar Gaddafi
A hit Nexflix show was based on this person - also known for bringing Hippos to his country, which has become a major environmental issue. Was also responsible for a plane crash which killed 107 people on board
Who is Pablo Escobar
A sudden, silent freeze followed by a slight squint into the distance usually while holding either a beverage or a cigarette means he has just spotted another man doing this exact activity
What is parking/parallel parking to be specific
This is the specific type of pristine, ultra-white sneaker a man purchases the moment he becomes a father or develops an intense interest in mowing the lawn
What is New Balance sneakers (or Nike Air Monarchs)
This is the universal spatial radius a man requires around himself at a public urinal row to ensure he does not break the unwritten "urinal law"
What is one empty urinal space