What is revision?
changing or improving ideas, meaning, or organization of your writing.
WHAT IT SAYS
What is the first thing you should identify when revising a paragraph?
The paragraph's purpose: what it is supposed to accomplish.
What is a claim?
A statement or point that the writer wants the reader to understand or believe
Name one thing you should check when editing.
Grammar, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, word choice, or sentence structure.
What is a personal statement meant to help a reader understand?
Who you are, what matters to you, and what experiences have shaped you.
What is editing?
editing means correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure
HOW IT SAYS IT
What question should you ask when deciding whether to keep a paragraph?
Does this paragraph serve my story or support my main idea?
What should a writer include to support a claim?
Evidence, examples, or specific details.
What should you do if a sentence contains unnecessary words?
Cut the wordiness and make the sentence more concise.
What is the difference between describing an experience and reflecting on it?
Describing explains what happened. Reflecting explains why it mattered and what you learned.
Revision or editing:
adding a detail to explain why an experience was important
Revision.
You are adding meaning and developing your ideas.
A paragraph describes an event but does not explain why it matters. What is missing?
Reflection or explanation connecting the event to the writer's larger message.
A student writes, 'Soccer taught me important lessons.' What could the student add to support this claim?
A specific example, such as missing an important shot, practicing afterward, and learning persistence.
Edit this sentence: 'i was nervous i spoke anyway'
I was nervous, but I spoke anyway.
A student writes, 'I learned a lot from soccer.' Give one stronger revision.
Missing the shot taught me to keep practicing, even when I felt discouraged.
Revision or editing:
Correcting a run-on sentence
Editing.
You are correcting sentence structure.
You realize that a paragraph does not connect to your essay's main idea. What are two revision choices you could make?
Rework the paragraph so it supports the main idea, or remove it if it does not serve the story.
Why is it not enough to simply describe an event in a personal statement?
The writer also needs to explain what the experience revealed, what was learned, or how the experience caused growth.
What is wrong with this sentence? 'I went to practice I was tired I wanted to improve.'
It is a run-on sentence. It needs appropriate punctuation and/or conjunctions to separate the complete thoughts.
A student writes an entire paragraph about winning a game but never explains why the experience mattered. What should the student do?
Revise by adding reflection that explains what the experience taught them and how it contributed to their growth.
A student changes the order of two paragraphs because the story makes more sense in a different order. What skill is the student using, and why?
Revision.
The student is reorganizing the writing to improve its structure and flow.
Why is it important to consider a paragraph's purpose before editing its grammar?
Because a grammatically correct paragraph may still be unnecessary, unclear, or unrelated to the essay's purpose. Revision strengthens the content before editing polishes it.
A student claims that volunteering made them more responsible. What combination of details would best strengthen this claim?
A specific example of a responsibility they took on, what they did, and an explanation of how the experience changed their understanding of responsibility.
Rewrite this sentence to make it clearer and more concise: 'The reason why I decided to continue practicing was because I wanted to be able to get better at playing soccer.'
I continued practicing because I wanted to improve my soccer skills.
A student has a personal statement with strong ideas but several run-on sentences, repetitive wording, and an unnecessary paragraph. Identify what should be revised and what should be edited.
Revision: Remove or rework the unnecessary paragraph to improve the essay's purpose and organization. Editing: Correct the run-on sentences and remove repetitive wording.