Nobody Taught Us This
You put a load of laundry in the washing machine and forgot about it for 3 days. Now it smells terrible. What do you do?
What is wash it again with detergent?
Someone looks at your strangely in the hallway. You immediately think they hate you. What is one thing you can remind yourself?
What is You don't know what they're thinking. There are multiple possible explanations, & a facial expression isn't proof.
Your friend borrows your favorite hoodie, returns it covered in dog hair, and says "Relax, it's just a hoodie." You tell them you're annoyed, & they apologize & offer to clean it. Red flag or green flag?
What is Mostly a green flag. They acknowledged your feelings & offered to make things right. The original mistake matter less than how they respond.
You buy a $4 energy drink every day for 30 days. Approximately how much did you spend?
What is $120?
You're at a friends house when their dog steals an entire slice of pizza off your plate & runs away. Your friend says, "He's basically a person." What's your move?
What is Laugh it off, ask for another slice, or negotiate with the furry animal. Bonus points for recognizing that dogs shouldn't be given certain pizza toppings, like garlic or onion.
Your landlord texts you that someone will be entering your apartment tomorrow, but you have no idea who or why. What should you do before assuming everything is fine?
What is Ask who is entering, why & when. Check your lease and applicable landlord-entry laws to understand your rights.
You have a terrible day, spill coffee on your shirt, miss the bus, & then get a parking ticket. You think "The universe is personally attacking me." What's a more balanced way to look at it?
What is Several frustrating things happened close together, but that doesn't mean everything is against you. Deal with each problem separately.
Someone you're dating says they need your phone password to prove you aren't cheating. They say couples shouldn't have secrets. What's the concern?
What is a red flag. They're treating access to your private information as something they're entitled to. Trust doesn't require surrendering all privacy, & pressure or monitoring can be signs of controlling behavior.
A store advertises a jacket for $80, marked down from $160. You don't need the jacket, but the discount makes you feel like you'd be losing money by not buying it. What's the trick your brain is playing?
What is You're treating money you never planned to spend as money you've saved. Not buying an unnecessary item costs you nothing.
You show up for a job 30 minutes early, but you realize you're wearing two different shoes. What should you do?
What is, If possible, fix the problem before the interview/phone a friend. If not, stay calm, present yourself professionally, and focus on the interview rather than letting embarrassment derail you.
You accidentally put gasoline in a diesel vehicle. You haven't started the engine yet. What's the smartest move?
What is Don't start the engine. Contact roadside assistance or a qualified mechanic about having the tank drained.
You're embarrassed about something you said yesterday. You replay the conversation 47 times in your head & imagine everyone is still talking about it. What thinking trap might you be experiencing?
What is Rumination, possibly combined with mind-reading or the spotlight effect - overestimating how much other people notice or remember your behavior.
Your friend only calls when they need money, rides, or emotional support. When you need help, they're suddenly unavailable. What is one healthy way to address this?
What is a Red flag. Talk honestly about the imbalance, set limits on what you're willing to give, & consider whether the friendship is reciprocal.
Your friend offers to split a $60 restaurant bill evenly, even though they ordered $40 worth of food & you ordered $20. You both agree to split it evenly. How much does each person pay before tip?
What is $30 each. But agreeing to split a bill evenly doesn't mean you have to agree to it. You can ask to pay for what you ordered. Option B: Make them leave the tip!
You receive a text from someone you haven't spoken to in 2 years. "Hey stranger! I miss you!" This person used to encourage behaviors that weren't good for your recovery. What should you consider before replying?
What is Consider why this relationship ended, whether reconnecting supports your current goals, & what boundaries you would need. You don't owe someone a response just because they reached out.
Your bank account says you have $400, but your debit card keeps getting declined. Name two possible reasons & one thing you should do.
What is Pending transactions, Bank fraud alert, Account restriction, Card lock?
You're angry with someone & feel completely justified in sending a nasty text. Why might waiting 20 minutes be useful even if you're still angry afterward?
What is It gives you time to consider the consequences, choose your words, & respond according to your goals rather than acting on the strongest emotion of the moment.
Someone in your recovery community tells you that if you were truly committed to recovery, you'd follow their advice about every aspect of your life. What should you consider?
What is a Red flag? Recovery support should not require surrendering your independent judgement to one person. Seek input from qualified professionals & trusted supports & maintain appropriate boundaries.
You receive a text claiming your electricity will be shut off in 30 minutes unless you pay $200 through a link. What should you do?
What is Don't click on the link or pay through it. Contact the utility company using the number on a previous bill or its official website to verify the claim.
You're in a group conversation when someone makes a joke about you past substance use disorder. Everyone laughs, but you feel humiliated. What are 2 ways you could respond without escalating the situation?
What is Calmly say the joke isn't okay, change the subject, speak privately with the person, or leave the conversation if necessary. You can also decide later how to address it when you've had time to process your feelings.
You find a wallet containing $300 in cash, ID & credit cards in a grocery store parking lot. Nobody is around. What do you do?
What is Turn it into the store's customer service desk or appropriate local authorities.
You experience a sudden craving after seeing an old friend in active addiction. You tell yourself, "I've been doing so well, so one time can't hurt." What are two ways to challenge that resasoning?
What is Recognize that progress doesn't eliminate risk & that one use can have serious consequences. Leave that triggering situation if possible, contact your sponsor, & follow your relapse-prevention plan.
A family member offers you a place to stay but says you must stop seeing all your friends, give them access to your bank account, & let them make your decisions. You desperately need housing. How could you approach this situation?
What is a red flag? Separate reasonable household expectations from controlling demands. Clarify the conditions, protect your financial privacy, explore alternative housing & support services & consider your safety before agreeing.
You have $1200. Your rent is $650, utilities are $100, groceries will cost $200, transportation costs $100, & your phone bill is $50. A friend invites you on a $150 weekend trip. Can you afford it without using savings or borrowing money?
What is No? Your essential expenses total $1100, leaving $100. The trip would put you $50 over budget, even before unexpected expenses.
You've been having a rough week. You get paid tomorrow, an old friend invites you to a party where substances will be present, & you feel tempted to go because you miss the excitement. Nobody is forcing you, & part of you genuinely wants to attend. What are 3 things you should consider before deciding?
What is Risk: could the environment, people or substances threaten your recovery? Motivation: Are you seeking connection & excitement, or trying to escape difficult feelings? Alternatives: Could you get the same social connection or excitement somewhere safer?