Conflict Resolution
Final Question
You are chosen to be the captain of a school cleanup committee. Your team has to clean up the messy art room in just 15 minutes. Right away, two of your team members start arguing over who gets to use the broom, a third member sits down and refuses to help because they are tired, and the clock is ticking.
To lead your team successfully using your SEL superpowers, what is the absolute best combination of choices you can make?
A) grab the broom yourself, yell at the arguing kids to stop being babies, and ignore the tired student so you can get the job done fast
B) Taking a deep breath to stay calm, creating a fair compromise, and keep everyone focused on the goal
C) Go back to the teacher to tell them that your team is not working, quit your job as captain, and put your head down
D) Take a deep breathe, do not get involved, and cleanly organize the paints by yourself
B) Taking a deep breath to stay calm, creating a fair compromise, and keep everyone focused on the goal
Your friend wants to play soccer at recess, but you want to play four-square. To fix this, you both decide to play soccer today and four-square tomorrow. Is this...
A) Ignoring the problem?
B) Making a compromise?
C) Winning an argument?
D) Giving up?
B. Making a compromise
You find a cool gel pen on the classroom floor and really want to keep it. The most responsible choice is to:
A) putting it in your pencil box quickly?
B) throwing it in the trash so no one else gets it?
C) asking around or giving it to the teacher's lost-and-found?
D) trading it to another classmate for a snack?
C) asking around or giving it to the teacher's lost-and-found
You are trying to build a tall tower in science class, but it keeps falling over. You feel your face getting hot and you want to crush the blocks. The best self-management tool to use first is:
A) knocking over your neighbor's tower instead?
B) taking three slow breaths to cool down?
C) giving up and sitting under your desk?
D) blaming your science partner for the mess
taking three slow breaths to cool down?
During group work, a classmate is sitting quietly, looking down at their shoes, and twisting their hands together. They are likely feeling:
A) excited and energetic?
B) nervous, uncomfortable, or unsure?
C) bored and sleepy?
D) angry and aggressive?
B) nervous, uncomfortable, or unsure?
While working on a poster with a partner, your partner suggests an idea that you don't really like. A good teammate will say:
A) "That is a terrible idea, let's do mine."
B) "Thanks for sharing that! Let's see how we can mix both of our ideas together."
C) "Whatever, I don't care about this poster anyway."
D) "I'm going to ask the teacher for a new partner."
B) "Thanks for sharing that! Let's see how we can mix both of our ideas together."
Someone accidentally bumps into you in the lunch line and drops your fork. Before getting mad, the best thing to do is...
A) bumping them back to be even
B) yelling at them to watch where they are going
C) staying calm and asking if it was an accident
D) crying and leaving the cafeteria
C. Staying Calm and asking if it was an accident
Your friends are laughing at a funny video on a chromebook during class when they are supposed to be reading. They try to hand the chromebook to you. The best choice is to:
A) taking it and laughing along with them?
B) grabbing it and hiding it under your desk?
C) saying "no thanks" and looking back at your own book?
D) yelling "You guys are breaking the rules!" out loud?
C) saying "no thanks" and looking back at your own book
You have a big spelling test on Friday, but your favorite cartoon is on TV on Thursday night. A student with good self-management will:
A) watch the cartoon and hope they magically get an A?
B) stay up until midnight studying after the show?
C) study for the test first, and record the show or watch it later
D) Watch the show and study for the test at the same time
C) study for the test first, and record the show or watch it later
A new student joins your 4th-grade class halfway through the year. They are sitting all alone at lunch. Showing empathy means you:
A) look at them and feel glad that you already have friends?
B) point them out to your other friends?
C) imagine how lonely they might feel and invite them to sit with you?
D) ignore them because they have to learn to find friends on their own?
C) imagine how lonely they might feel and invite them to sit with you?
Your best friend tells you a secret about a surprise party they are planning for their mom. A trustworthy friend will:
A) keep the secret safe and only their other best friend at recess
B) write it down and pass it as a note
C) keep the secret safe and not tell anyone
D)post it online to see if anyone else wants to come
C) keep the secret safe and not tell anyone?
When telling a classmate that they hurt your feelings, it is best to use an "I-Statement" (like "I felt upset when you left me out"). Why do we use "I-Statements"?
A) to make the other person feel guilty?
B) to show everyone that you are right?
C) to share your feelings without attacking or blaming the other person?
D) to get the other person in trouble with the teacher?
C. to share your feelings without attacking or blaming the other person
Before making a big choice, what are the three most important things you should think about?
A) if it is fast, if it is easy, and if it is cheap?
B) if it is safe, if it is fair, and how it will make others feel?
C) if your older sibling did it, if it is loud, and if it is funny?
D) if you will get caught, if it is messy, and if it is boring?
B) if it is safe, if it is fair, and how it will make others feel
You are trying out for the school talent show but you don't make the cut. You feel really sad, but you tell yourself, "It's okay to be sad. I will practice more and try again next year!" This is an example of:
A) having a negative attitude?
B) ignoring your sad feelings?
C) using a growth mindset?
D) being a sore loser?
C) using a growth mindset?
The teacher is giving instructions for a math game, but your friend keeps whispering a funny story to you. Being socially aware in this moment means you realize:
A) your friend is the most important person in the room
B) your whispering is distracting the teacher and the kids trying to learn
C) the teacher doesn't care if people talk during instructions
D) you should whisper louder so the teacher can hear the joke too
B) your whispering is distracting the teacher and the kids trying to learn?
Your friend is telling you about their weekend, and you are practicing active listening. This means you are:
A) looking around the room and playing with your eraser?
B) thinking about what you want to say as soon as they stop talking?
C) looking at them, nodding, and asking questions about their story?
D) interrupting them to tell a better story about your weekend?
C) looking at them, nodding, and asking questions about their story?
During a basketball game at recess, a classmate says you fouled them, but you are 100% sure you didn't. Both of you are getting angry, and the recess bell is going to ring soon. The best way to resolve this conflict is to...
A) quit the game and take the ball inside so no one can play
B) take a deep breath
C) agree to do a quick "redo" or flip a coin so the game can keep going
D) yell louder than them until they finally give up and agree with you
C) agree to do a quick "redo" or flip a coin so the game can keep going?
You see a group of students making fun of a classmate’s shoes behind their back. One of the students looks at you and asks, "Aren't those the ugliest shoes you've ever seen?" Before you answer, the most responsible decision-making step is to:
A) agree with them quickly so you can stay in the group
B) ignore them and pretend you did not hear them
C) laugh out loud but say nothing so you don't technically lie
D) pause, think about how your words will impact the classmate, and kindly say, "I think their shoes are fine"
D) pause, think about how your words will impact the classmate, and kindly say, "I think their shoes are fine"
Your teacher is changing the classroom seating chart. You get moved away from your best friend and are placed next to someone you don't know very well. You feel disappointed and frustrated. Good self-management means you:
A) complain out loud and refuse to move your supplies to the new desk
B) acknowledge your disappointed feelings, take a deep breath, and cooperate with the change
C) move to the new desk, acknowledge your feelings, and put your head down
D) pass notes to your best friend across the room to show the teacher it didn't work
B) acknowledge your disappointed feelings, take a deep breath, and cooperate with the change
Your group is giving a presentation to the class. While your partner is speaking, you notice they are shaking, their voice is very quiet, and they keep losing their place. Being socially aware means you:
A) help the friend by saying their part for them loudly
B) roll your eyes so the class knows it's your partner messing up, not you
C) give them an encouraging smile or quietly point to the next line on the paper to help them out
D) tell them to speak up because nobody in the back can hear them
C) give them an encouraging smile or quietly point to the next line on the paper to help them out
You and your friend are working on a science poster. Your friend accidentally spills a cup of water all over the drawing you spent 20 minutes working on. They look horrified and say, "I am so, so sorry!" A strong relationship skill to use here is:
A) telling them it's fine, but then take space from them for the rest of the week
B) accepting their apology and working together to fix it
C) spilling water on their part of the project so that everything is even
D) going directly to the teacher to demand a brand new partner who isn't messy
B) accepting their apology, letting them know it was an accident, and working together to fix it