What would you do?
You and another person disagree about the rules of a game. You know you're right, but the other person gets everyone else in the group to go against you. Soon they're all calling you names.
What is stop and think/be assertive/be kind?
Think of a time you were angry with someone in your family.
What happened and how did you respond?
People angry at one another usually act in ways that make situations worse. Using I-messages (sentences starting with "I" not "you") is a way for people to resolve conflicts without adding to the anger.
What is using I-messages?
It seems simple, but counting backwards can be a good way to keep from acting out in anger.
Can you try it?
Start at 10 and count down from there. If you need a longer cooling off period, count down from 50 or 100.
Someone calls you a name during lunch. To help you stay calm, you take five deep breaths (breathing in through your nose, holding your breath, and then breathing out).
Can you act it out? Show how to do deep breathing.
After school, you go to the room you and your sister share. You find her reading your diary. She starts laughing when you walk in.
What would you do?
What is Use I-messages, sentences starting with "I" not "you") is a way for people to resolve conflicts without adding to anger.
Talk about a time you responded to anger in a negative way and it made the situation worse.
What did you learn?
What is compromise?
When you have angry thoughts, imagine waving them away--the same way you might wave smoke away from you. As you imagine waving away anger, tell yourself, "I can stay in charge of how I act."
What is to wave anger away?
Can you act this "stop and think" process?
After recess one day, the person you sit next to in class says that you smell bad. For the rest of the day, this person holds her nose like she can't stand being near you. She even pretends to cough and gag.
What is get away, don't say or do anything that might hurt someone or get you in trouble--just get out of there?
Talk about the last time you were angry.
When was it? What made you angry and how did you handle the situation?
Angry feelings often result from misunderstandings. Good listening can help. When someone is speaking, look at the person, avoid interrupting, and repeat back what you hear when he or she is finished.
What is to practice listening?
One of the best ways to handle feelings of anger is to talk about them with someone you trust. Maybe this is a friend, someone at home, or an adult at school.
What is to talk it out?
Your favorite show is on TV, but your sibling refuses to turn to it. Instead of getting angry, you suggest a compromise.
Choose someone to play the part of your sibling.
A girl in your class is giving you mean looks. You ask her what's going on, but she gives you the silent treatment. No matter what you do or say, she avoids speaking and acts like you're not even there.
What would you do?
What happened and why does it still bother you?
Anytime you feel yourself getting angry about something--stop from losing control by telling yourself, "I can stay in charge of how I act." Then think about what's happening and what you can do to make the situation better.
What is to stop and think?
Drawing or writing about feelings of anger can be calming. Putting pencil to paper can also help you put situations in perspective and think about possible solutions.
What is to draw or journal?
You and a friend are in a big argument. You listen carefully (by looking at her, avoiding interrupting, and repeating back what you hear) to understand her perspective.
Choose someone to play your friend.
You really want a new video game system. Your dad says no. Then your sister gets a new saxaphone, which cost hundreds of dollars. You're mad because it doesn't seem fair.
What would you do?
Talk about a time when you reacted to anger in a way that got you in trouble with adults at home.
What happened?
If you feel angry, take a deep breath through your nose, counting to three. Hold it for a moment, then release the breath through your mouth, counting to five as you do. Repeat as many times as you need to.
What is using deep breathing?
If you're feeling angry about something, find a quiet place you like where you feel peaceful. This might be your room, a local park, or any other place that helps you feel calm inside.
What is finding a calming place?
One of your friends doesn't invite you to her sleepover and you feel really hurt. Give an example of and I-message (a sentence beginning with "I" not " you") to say how you feel.
Choose someone to play your friend.