Cognitive Distortions
Thinking something is about you when it isn't
What is personalization?
You tell someone how they made you feel in a calm respectful way.
What is assertive communication?
1)Identify:
Activating event-> Thought-> Feeling-> Action
My friend is quiet at lunch->They must be mad at me->I feel anxious-> I'm extra talkative
2) Evaluate:
Is the thought 100 % true? What evidence support it? What evidence is against it?
Usually when they are tired, they are quiet. I don't know any reason why they would be mad at me. I often assume that silence= anger
3)Alternative:
Is there another way to look at it?
Maybe my friend is exhausted because they were up all night working on their paper.
What is examining our thoughts?
Upset stomach, increased heart rate, muscle tension, avoidance, poor concentration, sweating, sleep problems, uncontrollable worry, excessive nervousness
What are symptoms of anxiety?
I usually notice my anger when_________
The last time I was enraged was _______
The person or people most likely to make me mad are_____________
Identifying triggers to anger
Thinking we can predict the future
What is fortune-telling?
You don't share you feelings with anyone and you pretend that everything is okay.
Passive communication
Depression, poor self esteem, and anxiety are often the result of irrational negative thoughts
Challenge the Negative Thoughts
Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation and mindfulness
Relaxation skills
Taking feelings out on others.
Example: Being mad at your friend, but yelling at your little brother.
What is displacement?
Assuming a single outcome applies in every situation
You express your feelings in a mean and disrespectful way.
Aggressive communication
Is this true?
What evidence do I have that the thought is true?
What would a friend think about this situation?
Will this matter a year from now?
What are questions to challenge negative thoughts?
Is a way to train the mind and change unhelpful habits
What is mindfulness?
Denying that something exist. Avoidance of unacceptable or unpleasant thoughts or feelings.
Example: You are hurt that your best friend forgot your birthday , but you deny that it affects you.
What is denial?
Believing we know what someone else is thinking
Ex. Everyone thinks that I am stupid.
What is mind reading?
You don't share your feelings, but you do something to get back at the other person.
Passive Aggressive communication
Understanding that thoughts, feelings and actions are closely connected.
Example:
Thought: "No one likes me."
Feeling: Sadness, loneliness
Action: Stay to myself and don't talk to anyone
What is the focus of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
This can prevent:
Worrying about the future
Thinking about the past (When were focused on the present, were not focused on past or future.)
Missing Life- focusing on what is happening helps us get the most out of life
What is Mindfulness Present focus?
Heart rate increase
Blood pressure raises/Sweating increases
Clench jaw/fist
What are Bodily clues to anger?
Believing a situation is much worst that it is.
What is catastrophizing?
The most effective type of communication style
Assertive communication
These beliefs often come from important experiences that shape our view of the world and other people and ourselves.
Example: No one ever tells me that they love me,
Belief: I am unlovable
What are core beliefs?
This can prevent :
Fighting against reality- a lot of our suffering comes from resisting "what is".
Example: "I'm mad because it is raining and I wanted to play outside." The reality- is that it is raining. Accept it, instead of fighting the reality that it is raining. Acceptance doesn't mean we like the situation.
Judging ourselves too harshly-tendency to judge ourselves as good or bad
Avoiding discomfort- being willing to be uncomfortable allows us to move toward things we care about more than comfort. Like facing fears or going after our dreams
What is Open-Hearted Acceptance of mindfulness?
Blaming someone else for our own mistakes, rather than accepting the blame ourselves.
Changing the subject abruptly to avoid uncomfortable topic or after their behavior is being addressed.
What is Deflection?