Aggressive or Assertive?
Someone cuts you off. You pull up next to them at the traffic light, roll down your window and start cursing and yelling at them.
Aggressive! What can you do instead?
What is one thing you can do when you feel yourself getting angry during a conflict?
Take a deep breath; try to stay calm; walk away if needed; think about the possible consequences.
Your friend says something hurtful to you. What is the BEST way to respond?
Talk to them privately.
Calmly tell them how that made you feel ("I" statement); Ask them if you did something to upset them.
True/False: I CAN control other people's behavior?
False! You can only control your own.
What can you tell people at your base school if they ask you where you've been?
Honest: I was having some trouble and had to go to another school for a bit.
Vague: Oh, you know, I was around.
Funny: I went on a space mission to Mars.
Someone disagrees with your opinion. You say, "interesting perspective. Let me share why I disagree."
Assertive
What should you do if a conflict starts to get physical?
Walk away; get help from an adult.
What are two UNhelpful ways to communicate when you disagree with someone?
Yell/Scream at them; Spread rumors; Physically try to hurt them; Curse at them.
True/False: When I go back to a base school, I can do whatever I want.
False! You will be on probation after leaving Graham Road and watched more closely than other students.
If you feel nervous about going back, what can you do?
Make a plan about how you will respond to students & teachers; Ask to be connected to someone at your school; Talk to a trusted adult or good friend; Think about the positives; Get a good night's rest; Practice deep breathing or other ways to relax.
You find out your best friend voted for someone you think is completely wrong for the job. You call them an idiot and roll your eyes.
Aggressive. Can you turn this into an assertive response?
Name two HELPFUL steps in resolving conflict.
Active listening; Take turns talking; Remain calm; Do NOT yell or scream; Do NOT curse at or blame.
What are two helpful ways to communicate when you do not agree with someone?
Listen; Take turns talking; Do not talk over the other person; Talk in a calm tone; Try to understand the other person's experience; Have an open mind; Agree to disagree and move on.
True/False: I can control my feelings.
True! Sometimes it is hard, but if you work on changing how you think, it can impact how you feel about yourself and others.
How can you show teachers/staff that you are ready to be back at your school?
Pay attention in class; Do your work; Talk to teachers in a respectful way; Be on time to EVERY class; Ask for help; Stay awake; Have a positive attitude; Make good choices.
Someone asks you to do something while you are in the middle of something. You respond, "I can't right now, but I will let you know when I am free."
Assertive
When listening during a disagreement, what should you focus on?
Active listening: Trying to understand the other person's point of view; remaining calm.
What should you do if someone spreads a rumor about you or a friend?
Try not to react right away (rumors often fizzle out quickly); Do not continue to spread it or talk about it; Talk to the person who started it ("I" statements); Tell a trusted adult or friend.
True/False: I can control how I react?
True! How you react to any situation is entirely in your hands! However, we all make mistakes. If you overreact, own it, apologize, and try not to repeat.
What should you do if someone: asks you to skip class/school, do something illegal, or do something you know will get you back to the hearings office?
Tell them, "No way, I'm not getting into trouble again, I'm trying to graduate!"; Talk to a trusted adult or friend; Join an afterschool club/sport/activity, maybe you will meet new friens.
Someone spreads a rumor about you. You respond by spreading rumors about them.
Aggressive.
When should you involve an adult/school staff in a conflict?
The conflict is serious and you need help/advice; You are afraid it is getting out of control and someone may get hurt; You are aware that someone may hurt themselves or somebody else; You are aware of a plan to meet up to hurt someone later.
What is an "I" statement?
A way to express how you feel without blaming or yelling. Helps to open up dialogue.
True/False: If I make a mistake or a bad decision, I am a bad person?
False! Making mistakes is one of the ways we learn! The key is recognizing it, owning it, and apologizing if necessary.
What strategies can you use if you start to feel frustrated or bored in class?
Take a deep breath, Ask a teacher for help (respectfully); Doodle; Draw a picture; As for a quick break; Ask to talk to the counselor or other trusted helper; Talk to the teacher privately after class if you need more help.