Statements by caregivers that teens can validate
"I worry about you hanging out with these new friends because I don't really know them."
What is, Ex: "I understand that you're worried. I get it; you don't really know them."?
"I used all of my allowance to buy my friend's birthday present and now I have no money left [starts crying]."
What is, ex: "I can tell you're pretty upset about this. I know you wanted to get your friend something nice, and now your allowance is gone until the next cycle." ?
Offer to problem solve when they are ready to create a solution for next month to spend their allowance more effectively.
"I can't come out with you because I still have too much studying to do or I'm going to fail my test."
"It took us forever to get here; we were stuck in traffic."
What is, "Being stuck in traffic can be frustrating; I've been there before! I'm feeling a little disappointed that you got here late, and I understand it was out of your control." ?
"Your loud music is really distracting me because I'm trying to get some work done!"
What is, Ex: "That makes sense, it can definitely be distracting when there's loud music playing and you're trying to work. I'll put some headphones in." ?
"I'm in a bad mood today because I had a fight with my friends."
What is, "I'm really sorry to hear you're having a fight with your friends. It doesn't feel good to be at odds with people we care about."?
"I had a really bad time at the party. I felt like people were mean to me."
What is, "I'm sorry you had a such a bad time at the party. I don't blame you for feeling that way when you're feeling like people were mean to you."?
" I hate dogs- they totally freak me out."
What is, "I don't blame you given your previous experiences with dogs." ?
"I'm really upset about this!"
"I have the earliest curfew of all my friends- it's really embarrassing!"
"I'm really upset because my parents are not sending me back to my camp."
"I spilled my drink on my keyboard!"
What is, "Oh no! You sound pretty upset, and understandably so! I'm sorry that happened."
"I can't take you now because I have to help your brother with his homework."
What is, ex: "I know you can't be in two places at once, and helping him with his homework is important. I can wait until you're done."?
"It's vacation. I really don't feel like doing my homework!"
What is, "I get it, vacation is about relaxing and having fun! Yet we agreed beforehand that you have to complete this homework to get your grades up."
"I don't feel like partying tonight because I got in trouble for doing that last weekend."
What is, "I don't blame you for wanting to be cautious. It sounds like you don't want to get in trouble with your parents again. I wouldn't either. No worries!" ?
"I'm really stressed; my friends are coming over and my place is a mess."