Ways we Communicate
Besides our eyes and face, these two body parts also help us send messages to others.
body (posture) and arms
Making eye contact with someone is one way to show them we are doing this
paying attention (showing interest)
Eye contact can feel this way for some people — not just easy or comfortable
difficult, uncomfortable, or even painful
This is the specific term the curriculum uses for using our eyes to gather information about someone during a conversation.
visual referencing
This is the recommended amount of time to hold eye contact before looking away.
4-5 seconds
We send messages to others using our bodies, eyes, faces, and this fourth thing
Arms
When we look at someone and they look back at us, this is the simple term for what just happened.
eye contact
Instead of looking directly into someone's eyes, we can look at this general area of their face.
their general direction (near the eyes)?
These are the four things we look for when visually referencing someone: body position, arms, facial expressions, and this.
eyes
After holding eye contact, this is about how long you should look away before looking back.
1-2 seconds
This is the general term for messages we send without using any words at all
nonverbal communication (body language)
This is one reason eye contact is helpful for listeners, not just speakers.
it shows the speaker we are listening
This simple head movement — looking this way at the person when you can — is another strategy for hard eye contact.
looking up (at the person)
This is one everyday moment when we might use visual referencing — for example, checking someone's face while we're listening or speaking.
checking someone's reaction, understanding, or feelings
These are two places you might glance instead of the eyes when taking a short break from eye contact.
the person's mouth or off to the side
If a person crosses their arms and turns their body away while you're talking, this is likely the message they're sending.
“I'm not interested” or “I want to leave the conversation”
A speaker is more likely to feel this way when their listener never looks up from their phone or the floor.
ignored (unheard, not listened to)?
Instead of one long, unbroken stare, we can do this every so often during a conversation.
take a break (simply glance away)
If Jasmine's body is bouncing, her arms are up, and her face is bright, visual referencing would tell you she's feeling this way.
excited
This is what it's called when you look at someone for more than just a few seconds.
staring
This is why paying attention to someone's whole body — not just their words — matters in a conversation.
It helps us understand how they really feel or react
This is the connection this lesson teaches between eye contact and “paying attention.”
eye contact is one of the main ways we show someone we are interested and listening
This is the most important reminder from the lesson about choosing an eye contact strategy.
stay true to yourself and only use strategies that make you feel comfortable
Visual referencing is described as helpful not just for speakers, but for these people too.
listeners
This is how staring at someone for too long usually makes that other person feel.
uncomfortable