Flexible Thinking
Problem Solving
Social Filter

What does our Self-Control Scanner do?

Self-Controller Scanner helps us to be more aware of how we are feeling and  think of strategies we can use if we feel like we’re losing control


What does being flexible mean?

Being flexible means thinking about more than one solution, thinking about others, being okay if your plans change, keeping an open mind, and trying new things


What are the four steps of problem solving?

Step 1: Make sure my body and brain are calm

Step 2: Identify the problem

Step 3: Size the Problem

Step 4: Think of solutions:


What does our social filter do?

Our social filter can help us to remember what to keep in our brain and what to say or do out loud.

What is a friend?
  • A friend is someone who:

    • Shares interests with you 

    • Cares about your feelings

    • Makes you feel good

    • Is someone you can trust

    • Is someone you want to be around and hangout with


Name emotions that you feel! 

Happy, sad, frustrated, angry, excited

What does being rigid mean?

Being rigid or stuck means you are unable to change and are “stuck.” This happens when you get upset if things do not go your way instead of trying to solve the problem, or instead of thinking about other solutions. Being rigid means we do not try to think about others’ thoughts and feelings


Name sizes of problems

  • Small problem: you can usually fix it by yourself (i.e., making a mistake, going last, losing in a game)

  • Medium problem: you usually need the help of an adult (i.e., getting bullied, fighting with a sibling)

  • Big problem: it is an emergency (i.e., needing the police or firefighters or needing to go to the hospital)


Why do we use a social filter?

  • When we decide what to say, we need to think about how our words will make others feel about us.

  • Making others feel good around us is important because it is how we make and keep friends.

  • Keep thoughts in your mind that might hurt other people’s feelings. Think about how you would feel if someone said it to you!  


What is a dneirf?

  • A “dneirf” is someone who:

    • Pretends to be your friend when they want something

    • Makes you do things you are not comfortable with 

    • Dneirfs make fun of you when others are around


What are strategies we can use to calm down?

take deep breaths, squeeze your hands together, get a snack, ask for a break, count to 10


What are four ways we can be flexible thinkers?

1) Think of ideas

2) Add Ideas Together

3) Let it go

4) Try another way


Name 4 solutions to solve problems 

Ask for Help (self-advocacy)

Positive Self-Talk

Be Flexible

Compromise with someone

What is perspective taking?

Perspective taking is when you think about the people around you. We try to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and imagine how they are feeling by reading their mood.


What are the four steps to making friends?

  • 1. Learn about others by asking general questions.

  • 2. Share about yourself.

  • 3. Spend time with them!

  • 4. Keep the friendship equal.


What are the three steps to use Self Control Scanner?

Step 1: Scan your brain and body to figure out when you are losing control 

Step 2: Pick a strategy you can use to get back in control

Step 3: Take the steps you need to get back in control

What does it mean to compromise?

Add our ideas together


What is positive self-talk?

  • Positive, self-talk is talking to ourselves in a reassuring, kind, and more optimistic way

  • We can use “I” statements like, “I can do this” or “I can get it next time” to boost our confidence and tolerate small problems


How do we read other peoples moods?

  • We read people’s moods by their

    • Facial Expressions

    • Body Language

    • Tone of Voice

    • The Situation 


What is a first impression?

First Impression: The first time you meet someone you both have thoughts about the other person. You form these thoughts by observing what the other person says or does.


What can you ask yourself when picking a strategy?

  • Do I need a break?

  • Am I hungry or thirsty? Do I need a snack?

  • What physical actions will help me calm down? Do I need to take deep breaths? Take a break? Use positive self-talk? Count to 10? Or something else?


Why is it important to be flexible?

Being flexible is an important skill to have to build and maintain friendships because others will have good thoughts about you. Being flexible shows you are thinking about others.


Why is it important to self-advocate?

  • It is important to stand up or speak up for yourself and to let others know what you want or need to solve a problem.

  • When we ask for help, we tell someone what we need and why we need it by giving a reason.


Why do we need to be able to take another person’s perspective?

  • If we accurately read people's moods, we will know what to say and how to respond

  • If we don’t read people's moods, we might continue behaviors that make others annoyed, upset or uncomfortable.   

  • We need to think about a situation from another person’s perspective and then react appropriately! 


Why is it important to make a good first impression?

 A first impression is how someone will remember you. We want people to have good memories of us, so they will want to be our friend!

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