History
This is the year that the board game Clue came out. it is between 1850 and 1950. Contestants should keep guessing until someone gets it.
answer wrong 10 times = +4 Clowns
answer < 1850 or >1950 = Lose All Clowns
Winner picks either a
If the winner does not have any Clowns, then they resurrect instead
if you guessed <1850 or >1950 = my applause
What's black and white and red all over?
Elegant answers like "Newspaper" = -1 clowns
Buffonish answers like "Lacerated Penguin" = +1 Clowns
Everyone must buzz in.
What color is formed by mixing magenta, yellow and cyan pigment?
A) White
B) Black
C) Wait... but magenta paint absorbs every wavelength EXCEPT magenta. that's why it appears magenta when we look at it under white light. Therefore, the resultant mixture would reflect equal amounts of all three wavelengths at a 1/3 of their original brightness. which wouldn't look black OR white?
D) Wait... I thought each color of light has its own wavelength and vice versa... but when you add three different sine waves together you don't get a new sine wave - you get a weird random looking thing. so suppose 'green' has some wavelength x; if you mix blue light and yellow light together, you do get a weird random thing... but somehow our eye perceives that thing as the same color as a perfect sine wave with wavelength x? what the fuck?
E) C and D are sound points, and this is a hard question, but the answer is B
F) C and D are definitely erroneous, but I don't know the right answer.
G) NEI
A) => +1 clown
B) => -1 clown,
C) magenta is a 'non-spectral' color, i.e. it does not have its own wavelength. it is how our brain perceives the 'weird random thing' that results from mixing blue and red light. +1 clown
D) => +1 quant, +1 joker's thug
E) The gods smile at your respectful nature. +1 Joker's Thug
F) hedging your bets, eh? I don't know if it was worth it. -3 clowns.
G) you blocked the shmix-up! +1 joker's thug
if you want X^Y to be as big as possible, which do you make bigger, x or y?
A) X
B) Y
C) NEI: how much are we raising them by?
D) NEI: how big are they now?
E) C and D
A or B => king, I love you. -2 clowns
C or D => you may pass by unscathed.
E => +1 troop of choice.
Here's a fun fact: ________
fun fact => -1 clowns
not fun => -2 clowns
not a fact => +4 clowns
Monopoly was patented on December 31, 1985. When was Star Wars Monopoly patented?
Monopoly was patented on December 31, 1935. Also "Star Wars" already is patented, which makes star wars monopoly a "a novelty consideration under §102" of the Patent Law Code and therefore not eligible for a patent.
Found date error => -1 clowns
Found patent law error => -1 clowns, +1 GOLDEN CALCULATOR
Stupid answer => +1 Clowns
Why? Just... why?
Any confident answer = +4 clowns
complain about the question = -1 clowns
complain about not knowing what I mean = -1 clowns
First person to take & submit a measurement accurate to 4 significant figures wins. Incorrect submissions lose -1 troop of choice.
i.e.
"0.0003" is okay but not "0.003".
"10.01" is okay but not "10.1"
it has to have 4 meaningful numbers in the measurement.
Winner gets a GOLDEN CALCULATOR, which turns a single Clown into a Quantitative Analyst.
If you made a physical object in the shape of X^Y, would it be comfortable to use as a seat? Assume X and Y are in meters.
A) yes. in meters, it would be about the size and shape of a big horse saddle.
B) yes. in meters it would be about the size and shape of a big horse.
C) yes. in meters it would be about the size and shape of a big cock.
D) no. the size would be about right, but it wouldn't be a sit-onable shape.
E) no, but it could be comfortably sat on by a giant.
A =>
What animal has the best sense of smell?
Hint: the correct answer is the Charleston Zebra, beating out the Clemson Zebra and the Greenville Zebra by a narrow margin.
A) Charleston Zebra
B) Clemson Zebra
C) Greenville Zebra
D) None of those are real zebra types but I don't know the right answer
E) One or more of those are real zebra types
Those are cities in South Carolina. The animal with the best sense of smell is an unknown thing apparently. African elephants have a larger portion of their genome devoted to olfaction than any other animal though.
African Elephant => +1 quant
Any of the zebras => +1 Clown
D => -4 clowns
E => +1 clown
Some other animal => -2 clowns
What is the square root of 69?
correct answer = -1 clowns
funny answer like "one woman on her back" = +1 clowns
refuse to participate = +1 clowns
I found some snue on my shoe last blue moon and I swooned!
Tell me, what's snue?
"nothing much, what's snue with you?" or similar +4 clowns
repeating back "what's snue" = +1 Clown
complaining about the question = -2 clowns
Acknowledging that sue isn't real = -1 clown per offence
Snue is a type of snow => -2 clown
Snue is some form of poop => -4 clowns
Why do ice skates work? in other words, why is ice slippery?
A) Your weight presses the skates into the ice, and that pressure melts the surface of the ice just enough for you to slide like a slip n slide.
B) No one knows
if you do the calculation, you would need to weigh like 12,000 lbs for theory A to make sense. Its B guys.
Vance Zizney famously came to school one day with two bags of apples labeled X and Y, each a gift from Foden and Victor Wembenyama, respectively. Controversially, one bag had more apples than the other. call their totals X and Y.
If X and Y are different, then X^Y is most likely to be (partial apples are allowed)
A) WAY Greater than Y^X
B) WAY Less than Y^X
C) Equal to Y^X
D) Different than X^Y
E) NEI: only need to know if x,y > 1
F) NEI: only need to know if x,y > 0
G) NEI: need both E and F
H) A Little less than Y^X
I) A little more than X^Y
X^Y > Y^X when X > Y
A and B are tied for first.
Contestants must pick from the options below. If someone stole something small from me, like a candy bar, I would:
A) Apologize that they were so hungry in the first place and hurry away
B) No reaction
C) Kill them
D) NEI: it depends on my race and the other person's race
E) NEI: it depends on my age and the other person's age
F) NEI: it depends on my gender and the other person's gender
G) D, E and F
A => +1 quant
B => -3 clowns
C => +1 joker's thug
D, E, or F => +3 clowns
G = +9 clowns
This is the year that Jeopardy came out. Hint: The correct answer is July 13, 1998.
Obviously Jeopardy came out in 1964.
1964 or similar => -1 clowns, +1 STEEL CLUB
July 13, 2001 => +1 clowns
Answer is later than July 13, 2001 => +2 clowns
dumb answer that is not a number => +3 clowns
Everyone draw a picture of me. biggest dick to body ratio wins +1 joker's thug.
just kidding. what's x^y if x=2 and y=11? first person to answer correctly wins a Quant.
According to the Theory of Special Relativity, if you had a device that could send information faster than the speed of light, you could use it to build:
A) a device that can see into the future.
B) a device that can permanently stop time.
C) a device that can open a wormhole.
Don't ask me to explain it. A.
Suppose your X and your Y switch bodies and you have to have sex with one them to switch them back. Which do you pick?
Anyone who buzzed in gains 1 clown.
refuse to answer because its too gross => -4 clown
how many molecules are in a penny? round to the nearest 10^50
0
According to the authors of the scientific article "The biomechanics of the vagina: a complete review of incomplete data", what relevant data are they lacking?
A) Physical properties of vaginal tissue such as tensile strength, resistance to tearing, etc.
B) Physical properties of vaginas such as vulva-to-cervix distance (V2C), clitoris-to-gooch distance (C2G), etc.
C) Its either A or B, but the issue is that they only could study human vaginas.
D) Its either A or B, but the issue is that they only could study rabbit vaginas.
A is correct.
A => -3 clowns
B => +3 clowns
C or D => they studied both
"Doc, I'm having a pain in my eye every time I raise coffee to my mouth and drink"
"take the spoon out of the mug" = -10 Clown
make up stupid answer = +1 Clowns
refuse to answer because not a doctor = -1 Clown
Why do stars twinkle?
A) The atmosphere
B) Distance from Earth
C) Eyeball Glitch
Just like a hot sidewalk makes the air above it look wavy, the atmosphere causes starlight to scatter and warp before it reaches us, giving the appearance of twinkling. A.
When was X^Y invented? Round to the nearest half-century. Contestants should keep guessing until someone gets it right.
Correct answer = -5 clowns
wrong by more than 400 years = +2 clown
wrong by more than 1,000 years = lose all clowns
wrong by less than 100 years = -3 clown
1550
How many molecules are in a penny? round to the nearest 10^20.
10^20