Logic
How do you make the number one disappear?
Add a 'g' to it and it will be gone.
A man shaves every day, but his beard stays the same.
He's a barber.
Larry lied on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays but told the truth every other day of the week.
Ken lied on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays but told the truth every other day of the week.
Larry: I lied yesterday.
Ken: I lied yesterday, too.
What day of the week was yesterday?
Wednesday
What do pandas have that no other animal has?
Baby pandas.
What word is spelt incorrectly in every dictionary?
Incorrectly
She has married many men but has never been married. Who is she?
The minister
Two security guards arrive at the same time in the morning. They have guarded the same bank vault for the past ten years. Neither of them has ever taken a sick day. They have never once laid eyes on each other. How is this possible?
They guard the vault on different days.
Is it correct to say, “the yolk of eggs is white” or “the yolk of eggs are white”?
Neither, the yolk of eggs are yellow.
Beth’s mother has three daughters. One is called Lara, and the other one is Sara. What is the name of the third daughter?
Beth
What word would you use to describe a man who does not have all his fingers on one hand?
Normal, because most people have half their fingers on each hand.
How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
You can't. Elephants don't have hands.
If Brenna had four piles of sand and Sara had five piles of sand, and they put them all together, how many piles would there be?
One big pile.
Can a man legally marry his widow's sister in Mississippi?
It's hard to marry someone when you're dead.
What is so delicate that even mentioning it breaks it?
Silence
A girl fell off a fifty-foot ladder but didn't get hurt. Why?
She fell off the bottom step.
What two words, when combined, hold the most letters?
Post office
What five-letter word becomes smaller when you add two letters and even smaller when you add three?
Small (Smaller, Smallest)
What king can you make if you take the head of a lamb, the middle of a pig, the hind of a buffalo, and the tail of a dragon?
Lion
2 people in front of 2 people. 2 people behind 2 people, and 2 people beside 2 people. How many people are there?
Four
What word starts with 'e' and ends with 'e' but only has one letter in it?
Envelope.
If a rooster lays an egg on the top of the barn roof, which way will it roll?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
You see a truck driver going the wrong way down a one-way street. He passes ten police officers but doesn't get stopped. Why?
He was walking, not driving.
If a giraffe has two eyes, a monkey has two eyes, and an elephant has two eyes, how many eyes do we have?
How can a girl go 25 days without sleep?
She sleeps at night.
You spot a boat full of people but you can't see a single person on board. How is that possible?