Adorable
“Yes, I was throwing paper airplanes with Billy… but mine were artistic.”
Special Pleading
“That idea came from tic tok, so it must be wrong.”
Genetic Fallacy
“This pencil must be great for handwriting—it has a picture of a dragon breathing fire on it.”
Transfer
“You said don’t eat in class, but I saw you eating a granola bar in here earlier!”
Tu Quoque
“Why should we listen to your math answer? You wear Velcro shoes.”
Ad Hominem
“You can’t give me a zero—I had to wake up this morning. Do you know how hard that is?”
Ad Misercordiam
“It’s true because my cousin’s older brother said it—and he’s in high school.”
Ipse Dixit
“You say the Earth is round, I say it’s flat—so it must be… a cube.”
False Compromise
“Everyone in the cafeteria thinks pineapple belongs on pizza. That settles it.”
Ad Populum
“Agree with me… or I will dramatically stare at you until you do.”
Ad Baculum
“You only think homework is useful because you’re a teacher.”
Bulverism
“The teacher said this test would be ‘easy,’ and breathing is easy, so this test should require no effort.”
Equivocation
“You either love homework… or you hate learning.”
Bifurcation
“I wore mismatched socks and then it rained. I control the weather.”
Post Hoc
“You said we should have less homework? Wow. So you want us all to become illiterate cave people.”
Straw Man
“No one has proven that my dog isn’t a secret genius, so he definitely is.”
Ad Ignorantiam
“I didn’t cheat—I just used answers that weren’t originally mine.”
Distinction Without a Difference
“Books are from the past. Therefore, they are useless relics of a dark age.”
Chronological Snobbery
“If we allow one snack, soon we’ll have full restaurants in the classroom.”
Slippery Slope
“Each ingredient in this cake tastes good, so the cake made of ALL of them must be incredible.”
(…adds ketchup, mustard, and ice cream)
Composition
“Students who bring fancy lunches usually get better grades—clearly the grades causes good lunches.”
“If I eat sugar, I get energy.
I have energy… therefore I must have eaten sugar.”
Affirming the Consequent
“Animals roar loudly in nature, so its good for students to roar in class too.”
Naturalistic Fallacy
“Why are we talking about me being late? Let’s talk about how clocks are oppressive.”
Irrelevant Thesis
“Students are like machines—if they don’t produce results, they should be replaced.”
False Analogy
“Everyone knows that homework is useless—just ask any student.
And if you disagree, you clearly just enjoy making kids miserable.”
Ad Populum
Ad Hominem