Pick a Reading Any Reading
What is the Alateen reading on November 21?
Before coming to Alateen, I thought my life was hopeless. I was sure no other person could possibly have it worse than me. I did a lot of complaining; nothing ever changed. My father kept telling me I wanted to live in a "storybook" world, but I didn't think I was looking for anything too far out of the ordinary. All I really wanted was a feeling of love. Now that I'm working the program, I realize that what I want in our home depends on my attitude. If I'm looking for love, I have to be willing to show it instead of complaining about not having it. One of the tools that helps me with this is Tradition 11. I try to use "attraction rather than promotion." I find that I'm a lot happier with what I do and say and it's rubbing off on other people too.
When I want my home life to change, sometimes I have to take the lead. I can do that with the help of the 11th tradition. Instead of harping on how things could be better, I can "attract" my family to a new way of life by working the program in my life today.
How can I talk about my recovery without revealing the identity of the alcoholics in my life?
Question 1
What is it about the Al-Anon program that keeps me coming back?
What is the Courage to Change reading on February 5?
"When the student is ready, the teacher appears." say the Zen Buddhists. Or, as an Al-Anon speaker put it, "We each get here right on time." To me, this is an important reason to have public relations policy based on attraction rather than promotion, as the 11th Tradition suggests.
My own arrival in Al-Anon was right on schedule. I first heard about the program when I was a teenager; I attended my first meeting twenty years later. I don't regret that lapse of time because I don't think I would have been ready to come to Al-
Anon any sooner. I spent those 20 years resenting any implication from well-meaning family members that I had been affected by alcoholism. Only after many years of living with the effects of the disease did I really become ready to get help. No amount of nagging would have hurried me along faster.
There is no magic wand that can make others ready for Al-Anon. And it is presumptuous to assume that I have a better idea of their true path than they do. Let me help those that want help. When my life improves as a result of working the program myself, I do more to carry the message than I ever could by forcing it on others.
What is question 13 from Paths to Recovery?
How am I grateful for the people in my life?
Question 2
How can my actions attract other to seek recovery?
What is the Courage to Change reading on December 9?
When I reflect on Tradition 11, in which Al-Anon's public relations policy is described as being based on attraction rather than promotion, I take a fairly personal approach. What this Tradition says to me is that my first responsibility in Al-Anon is to learn to keep the focus on myself and to do my very best to live this program one day at a time.
If I am walking the walk, there is little point in talking the talk - that is, If I am not demonstrating recovery in my life to the best of my ability, then talking about the program may be nothing more than a substitute for living it.
In this regard, I find that I am very likely to feel most compelled to urge others to attend Al-Anon when I am most in need of a meeting myself.
What is Question 17 from Paths to Recovery?
Is my recovery attractive to others?
Question 3
How can I apply the principle of "attraction rather than promotion" in my personal life?
What is the Hope for Today reading on August 3?
I've always wanted my mother to accept me for who I am. I know she loves me, but she seems to become so disappointed with little things. In Al-Anon I found the acceptance I craved. I truly began to believe that I am totally lovable and that although I make mistakes, I'm not a mistake. Although I do things differently than my mother, I am still a worthy person. However, it wasn't long before I found myself wishing for the same kind of acceptance from my mother that I get from the members of Al-Anon.
With the help of some of my Al-Anon friends, I discovered that I don't accept my mother as she is, either! I want her to embrace my way of thinking, start saying no to people, and not get so upset about unimportant issues. Basically I want her to think as I do and Al-Anon has given me some words for this attitude: self-righteousness, arrogance and control.
I've started to work on these character defects of mine by practicing "Live and Let Live." I attempt to keep the focus on myself and to embrace Tradition 11, which encourages me to exercise attraction rather than promotion. This change in my attitude has had a tremendous effect on our relationship. Since I stopped giving my mother unsolicited recommendations on how to improve her life, she no longer finds it necessary to try to reshape mine.
What is Question 14 from Paths to Recovery?
Am I trying to force someone into living the way I think is right? How?
Question 4
How does Tradition Eleven help me to be mindful of my own behaviors?
What is the Hope for Today reading on August 11?
When I first started coming to Al-Anon, I found that I wasn't alone in trying to meet the challenges from growing up in an alcoholic home. That discovery was a blessing in so many ways. Being a member of the Al-Anon fellowship removed the crippling burden of shame that I carried on my shoulders for decades. I also came to believe that alcoholism truly is a family disease, affecting everyone close to the drinker. In addition the program took my recovery a step further an gave me tools for coping with the disease. A daily dose of the Steps, slogans, service, sharing and spirituality - when taken day after day, month after month, year after year - has kept my disease in remission. No amount of professional therapy, although helpful, had replaced the profound relief of hearing others share their similar experiences, strength and hope.
"The healing is in the hearing" is a simple yet weighty truth in Al-Anon. I hear myself in others' experiences and find myself in our shared emotions. In learning to feel compassion and acceptance for my fellow members, I learn to feel the same for myself. I receive strength from their strength and hope from their hope, believing that if they can heal, so can I. Nothing can take the place of personally witnessing the healing, change and growth of other Al-Anon members. That's all the encouragement I need to keep working my program together with others who struggles with this insidious disease.
What is Question 8 from Paths to Recovery?
How can I share Al-Anon with friends and colleagues who might be interested while keeping the spirit of anonymity alive?
Question 5