What can be changed?
"There was a tragedy. "
"There was a fire."
(tragedy)
"I play second chair violin in the Los Angeles Philharmonic."
Yes
Give one reason why you should use specific words.
Creates a clear picture for the reader
Engages your reader
Indicates that the reader should pay attention
"A large number assembled for the meeting. "
"Five hundred attended the caucus."
(A large number, the meeting)
"This itchy sweater is giving me a rash."
Yes
In your writing see where you can avoid ___________
Generalizations
"The community took legal actions against the Organization."
"The Ohio town filed a lawsuit for fire damage against the YMCA"
(community, legal actions, organization)"The study was about asthma."
No
"The study, conducted by Dr. Anna Stevens from the University of Washington, surveyed 200 adult asthma patients over one year."
Detail isn’t ________
Random
"I basically failed the class for many reasons ."
"I failed my Introduction to Business class because I didn’t turn in any homework and left early every day."
(failed, the class, many reasons)
"The sales proposal was a flop at the conference."
No
"The sales proposal failed to offer the CEOs at the conference this year any convincing numbers."
Why isn't detail random?
Detail is used to indicate that the reader should pay attention to what is happening in the text.
"In proportion as the manners, customs, and amusements of a nation are cruel and barbarous, the regulations of its penal code will be severe."
"In proportion as men delight in battles, bullfights, and combats of gladiators, will they punish by hanging, burning, and the rack."
(manners, customs, and amusements of a nation, regulations of its penal code will be severe.)
"My team was excited when we won the big game ."
No
"Members of my hockey team, the Badgers, were excited when we won our quarter-final game yesterday by three points"
Define using definite, concrete, specific language.
Using specific words rather than general words, the definite rather than the vague, the concrete rather than the abstract.