Kids
Dad referred to this child for 2 years straight using a Nacho Libre quote.
Who is Ben?
Dad was this age when he earned his Eagle Scout.
What is 13?
She was a showgirl.
Who is Lola?
The beginning of the speech given before public outings.
What is, “We are a freakishly large family” or “Do not embarrass me”?
The major Dad always holds up as an example of an easy major.
What is Communications? (He may have to stop soon if a certain relationship continues...)
The children Dad can’t afford to lose.
Who are Jess and Cassi?
Dad earned a scholarship to BYU for this.
What is trombone?
Dad wrote songs to help Jonny, Jess, and Cass learn this.
What is the spelling of their names?
Dad’s catchphrase for both camping and soccer.
What is, “You know I love this, ‘cause I hate you”?
The character no one believed had died because of Dad’s previous plot embellishments.
Who is Cedric Diggory?
Dad pranked David in freshman year with a fake email from this organization.
What is The David Letterman show / Worldwide Pants?
As an 18-year-old, Dad was Grandpa’s top salesman working for this company.
What is AAMCO?
This happened to the little old man.
What is, he went to bed, he bumped his head, he woke up dead?
This phrase is often used as a rebuttal for a child’s excuse.
What is, you knew or you should have known?
This nickname was given to Dad by someone who, as he so often reminds us, is dead.
What is Kookabura?
Dad ushered in the birth of this child with the “I’m a foot” video.
Who is Jacob?
Dad went to Japan in this year.
What is 1992?
When Dad used to sing Sesame Street’s “Sing, sing a song,” the melody would often morph into this Beatles tune.
What is Hey Jude?
Advice that Dad gives constantly, but he himself failed to follow.
What is, “Marry either very, very rich or very, very poor — nothing in between”?
Dad often mispronounces this word so he can get away with talking about it.
What is, peh-nis?
The thing Dad and Mom plan to do with Seth when they’re old.
What is, go on a cruise and be pushed by him in their wheelchairs?
On top of BYU, Dad got accepted to the MBA program at this college.
What is Indiana?
A green object experiencing an identity crisis.
What is a blueberry?
This common Dad phrase has become shorthand for “I have to work”.
What is, “Someone has to pay for this family?”
These are the three recurring jokes Dad employs in response to a store alarm going off, a cashier asking for his number, and a waiter saying his plate is hot, respectively.
What are, running, saying he’s married, and screaming?