Wounds and Weaknesses
Those most are familiar with the fruits I'm allergic to, this nut also causes my throat to itch and my lips to swell
What is an almond?
The ex I'm most likely to get back together with
Trick question I just wanted to know what you thought
The person who said the below phrase:
"I just want to read Baudelaire in French, is that such a crime?"
Who is Katie Berry?
After fainting at this outdoor music festival, everyone assumed I was blackout despite the fact that I was 16 and sober
What is Boston Calling?
My annual party which Peter Remsen was not inivited to, resulting in him declaring our ten year friendship was officially over
What is New Years?
My biggest fear, which I've learned is less universal than I initially thought
What is Death?
My first kiss, who set the bar very low for all who followed
Who is Edu the Spanish Foreign Exchange Student?
The person who said the below phrase to me at 16 in front of a room of people, while patting my stomach:
"Somebody's got a food baby!"
Who is Constantine?
The establishment in which I dramatically fainted on my 22nd birthday
What is is Shake Shack?
The holiday I may-have-depending-on-how-you-look-at-it stole my friends hookup
What is Halloween?
The medical condition that landed me in the emergency room
What is heart palpitations?
The ex I was involved with the longest (from first kiss to final breakup)
Who is Sebastian?
The person who had the below exchange with me while discussing a documentary subject:
Them: "Is he like, super dumb?"
Me: "Mam, that's a baby."
Who is Sunanda (my boss from last summer)
The international city in which Constantine suggested putting me in a cab and sending me home alone after my drink had been drugged and I could barely walk
What is Athens?
While complaining to a mutual friend about our breakup, this ex said that our biggest problem was that "I just cared about having fun."
Who is Julian Waugh?
The object responsible for the scar next to my eye
What is a butter knife?
In my opinion, the cutest boy in our Uchicago House
Who is the incorrigible Ethan M?
The person who told me:
"You look like a child, but a hot child. Like in anime."
Who is Julian Waugh?
The fruit my mother is allergic to, which caused her to faint in a comedy club and get ridiculed by the host
What is mangos?
In a summer internship from hell, my boss had be write a script in which this thing was used as an allegory for racism
What is fruit?
I once peed my pants because I was too scared of this thing
What is an airplane bathroom?
The TV Show I was so obsessed with as a child that I had a bulletin board entirely dedicated to various magazine clippings I found about it
What is CHUCK?
This person once told me:
"I like turning cranks. It's a simple hobby."
Who is Trevor?
The Boston landmark in which my sister dramatically fainted, forcing us to cut our once-in-a-lifetime-tour short
What is Fenway Park?
Who is Tommy Zhang?