"I Statements"
Give an example of an "I Statement"
Define Passive Aggressive Communication
What is
Passive-aggressive definition is - being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness).
How I communicate is ____________.
What is..
My personal responsibility
Define Pseudo-listening
What is..
When we pretend to listen to another person but do not participate in conversation.
Define what a boundary is?
What is
A boundary is a personal line indicating what we are responsible for and what we are not. A lack of boundaries in relationships leads to confusion and pain, especially when one person has unreasonable expectations of the other.
Change this sentence in to an "I Statement"
You make me so angry when you don't take out the garbage!! The garbage hasn't been taken out in days!
What is..
I feel frustrated when you don't take out the garbage, since we decided I would do the dishes and you take care of the garbage. If you could try and make that happen on a more regular basis, I would appreciate it.
Define Aggressive Communication
What is
Aggressive communication is a method of expressing needs and desires that does not take in to account the welfare of others. A harmful communication style, aggressive communication can end up worsening social anxiety by making others view you more harshly. In turn, this can lower your self-esteem as you worry you are being judged negatively by those around you.
Give 3 examples of how one can take responsibility in their relationships and in communication.
What is..
**take ownership of my actions
**listen to others
**take a breath before I communicate
**use healthy communication methods (truly listening, be assertive, avoid passive aggressive or aggressive responses.
**be open
Define monopolizing in a conversation.
What is ..
Dominating the conversation by keeping all of the focus on ourselves.
A boundary is a form of a ___________.
What is a healthy expectation.
When attempting to use and "I statement" what do we need to do first?
What is...
take a breathe or a pause away from the situation can to keep calm and express what we are feeling.
Define Assertive Communication
What is
Assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct way. It recognizes our rights while still respecting the rights of others. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people.
Healthy ________ is an example of a personal responsibility.
What is..
Healthy boundaries or Healthy communication methods
Define what defensive listening is and give an example.
What is..
When we deliberately listen for what we perceive as personal attacks.
Example - "I know you think I'm lazy since you asked me to take out the trash today!"
**Apologize
**Take ownership
**Take action
Change this sentence to an "I statement"
You can't just take over making dinner. I was making dinner. I guess I just don't do it well enough!
What is
I feel really hurt when you step in like this when I'm cooking. It makes me feel like I'm not doing a good enough job. I need you to let me make the meal and maybe give me feedback.
Give an example of what might be a passive aggressive response to "Could you please take out the trash?"
Example
In a conversation with an aunt, she says something that you don't like. You feel disrespected and attacked. You want to REACT but instead try to RESPOND. Give an example of reacting versus responding.
What is...
Ex of reacting
Ex of responding
Define what ambushing would be in a conversation?
What is..
When we listen for the purpose of attacking the other person, thinking of what we can throw back at them.
When one forgives one can still ________
Put a boundary in place (which might mean a change in the relationship, expectations to be checked in on etc.)
Why do we use "I statements" give at least 3 answers.
What is..
**To communicate respectfully
**To build communication in the relationship
**To understand the other person's point of view
**To have healthy communication.
Give an example of assertive communication from this situation. You have plans with friends, you are supposed to meet at 6pm at your local restaurant. You are waiting for your friend to show up but they do not. You get a text from your friend at 6:30 stating they can't make it. What is an assertive response the next day when you talk to them?
What is..
Hi friend, I definitely get things happen, but I was waiting at the restaurant for a half an hour. Please let me know when ahead of time if something comes up and we can always reschedule.
You have made plans with a friend and completely forgot about them. Your response (defense mechanism) is to rationalize. What would this look like and what is a healthier response?
What is ..
Example of Rationalization
Example of owning responsibility
Part 1- Define Literal listening?
Part 2- We should use literal listening in all over our conversations (True/False)
What is..
Part 1- this is when we only listen for content but ignore the relationship level of the meaning.
Part 2- False, if we do this, our relationships and our conversations can not grow.
What is..
**Honesty
**Respect
**No verbal/physical abuse
**Listening
**Communication
**Space (not constantly asking where you are etc.)