BAD DAD JOKES
Dad, did you get a haircut?
What is, No, I got them all cut!
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it....
What is, ...with my eyes closed!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
What is, An irrelephant!
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
What is, Act like a nut!
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
What is, Because the P is silent!
I was going to tell a time-traveling joke, but...
What is, ...you guys didn't like it!
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
What is, They would crack each other up!
What do you get from a pampered cow?
What is, Spoiled milk!
If you're not a dad, don't make dad jokes, because....
What is... that would be a faux pas!
Why is this graveyard so full?
What is, People are dying to get in!
Did you hear about the circus fire?
What is, It was in tents!
The coffee made a report to the police about a....
What is, ...mugging!
Did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?
What is, Yes, they were cooked in Greece!
Dad! Make me a sandwich!
What is, Poof! You're a sandwich!
Five out of four people admit that they are....
What is, ....bad with fractions!