5th Graders
A popular app for dance moves, how to order complicated coffee drinks, and hours of mindless scrolling.
What is TikTok?
Words we never want to hear again, Part One:
Finest Procedures
What are "best practices"?
If you don't know where to find a lesson, materials, guides, your pet cat from 4th grade, or your mind - you will be told to find it here, 932 times during the school year.
What is "THE DRIVE"?
NGSS
What is "Next Generation Science Standards"?
Kids feign mild interest in the Maya/Aztec lessons until you get to *this* and then they are captivated.
What is "human sacrifice"?
Kids started collecting these in masse last year, often used in "trades," with slightly addictive properties.
What are fidget spinners/poppers/etc.?
Words we never want to hear again Part 2:
fortitude, endurance, persistence
What is "grit"?
Thes best part of these is getting to wear jeans to work.
What are "Spirit Days"?
CK
What is "Core Knowledge"?
When we were growing up, no one ever used 22/7 to represent this.
What is "pi"?
If your "fit is sick," that means you have this.
What is "a lovely outfit"?
Time during PD week meetings scheduled for community building, but really you are just wondering if anyone can tell you woke up 5 minutes ago.
What is "The Ice Breaker"?
Arriving in your inbox monthly, it is assumed that we all read this thoroughly; in reality, we have to ask someone nineteen times when the next Newsela Benchmark is.
What is "The Academic Bulletin"?
CCSS
What is "Common Core State Standards"?
There are four of these on earth, or to find the volume use 4/3(pi)r2
What is a "sphere"?
William Shakespeare, Langston Hughes, and Kanye West are known to do this; another term for "misplacing rows."
What is "dropping bars"?
When you scroll through a PD Week Zoom Agenda, look for these words to signal whether or not anyone will know if you duck out before it is over.
You need to schedule PTO when you get an email from this innovative VP and Academic Guru, that's how long it will take you to read/understand it.
Who is "Jeremy"?
CTC
What is "Cinnamon Toast Crunch"?
Sorry Gutenberg, but this unit in 5th Grade history is the only boring one and we can't wait to zip through it.
What is "The Reformation?"
Your students all talk behind your back in a group chat on this popular app.
What is "Discord"?
The one thing we all yearn for during PD week, but somehow manages to elude every schedule.
What is "Classroom Prep Time"?
Brilliant head of curriculum in Grades 3-5, her favorite tool is the "insert table" function on Google Docs.
Who is "Liza"?
UNSDG
What is "United Nations Sustainable Development Goals"?
The number of times you will say, "That's a really good question, let me get back to you!" during the school year because you have no idea.
What is "countless/infinite"?