Finish the Text Post
Florida Man
Name these feminine products
Sex baby
SOAD Lyrics
Who????
I'm tickling your brain
100
100
Florida man stabs tourist despite (redacted)
A) not having a knife
B) being sober
C) not having arms
D) the tourist not deserving it
100
Portable female urinal
100
The average male orgasm lasts six seconds while the average female orgasm lasts...
20 seconds
100
Conversion, software version 7.0
Toxicity
100
Slash
100
What is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of steel?
200
200
Florida man calls 911 to report (redacted) for drunk driving
A) His Cat
B) Himself
C) His Dog
D) The Police
200
Toe spreaders for pedicures
200
Hand dominance and testicles, how are the two related?
The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right for right-handed men. The opposite is true for lefties.
200
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go create another Fable
Chop Suey
200
Ben Stiller
200
You’re escaping a maze, and there are three doors in front of you. The door on the left leads to a pit of lava. The door in the center leads to a room filled with deadly gas. The door on the right leads to a lion that hasn’t eaten in three months. Which door do you choose?
The door on the right. A lion that hasn’t eaten in three months would be dead.
300
300
Florida man apparently painting (redacted) messages on Tampa Bay crabs
A) Flat-Earth
B) White Power
C) Anti-Abortion
D) Anti-Hillary
300
Silicone Bra
300
What is the most common cause of penile rupture?
Masturbation
300
They take me away from (take me away from)
The strangest places (strangest places)
Sweet Danny and Lisa (sweet Danny and Lisa)
Radio/Video
300
Tim Allen
300
You are driving a bus. At the first stop, two women get on. At the second stop, three men get on, and one woman gets off. At the third stop, three kids and their mom get on, and a man gets off. The bus is grey, and it is raining outside. What color is the bus driver’s hair?
Your hair color
400
400
Florida man climbs on playground equipment to tell children (redacted)
A) Where babies come from
B) That Santa isn't real
C) To do drugs
D) Spoilers to the movie Inception
400
Nail Polish Bottle Holder
400
How many erections, on average, do men have a day?
11
400
Jack Gilardi's ten feet tall
Old School Hollywood
400
Toby McGuire
400
You are in a room that has three switches and a closed door. The switches control three light bulbs on the other side of the door. Once you open the door, you may never touch the switches again. How can you definitively tell which switch is connected to each of the light bulbs?
Turn on the first two switches. Leave them on for five minutes. Once five minutes has passed, turn off the second switch, leaving one switch on. Now go through the door. The light that is still on is connected to the first switch. Whichever of the other two is warm to the touch is connected to the second switch. The bulb that is cold is connected to the switch that was never turned on.
500
DAILY DOUBLE
500
Florida man admits to killing a goat and drinking its blood for a Pagan sacrifice, would still like to be (redacted)
A) A pastor
B) Senator
C) Vegan
D)A teacher
500
Speculum
500
What sleeping position can cause the most sex related dreams
On the stomach with arms above the head
500
My stinks right down to the floor
With a feeling so pure
Cigaro
500
Seth Rogan
500
How many seconds are there in a year?
Twelve. Jan. 2nd, Feb. 2nd, March 2nd…
600
600
Man disguises himself in a (redacted) costume, tries to burn down former lover's house with pasta sauce
A) Bull Onesie
B) Donald Trump
C) Luigi
D) Electrician
600
Menstrual Cup
600
What is the most common - non-sex toy women use as masturbatory aids?
Candles
600
Sweet berries ready for two
Ghosts are no different than you
Question!
600
DAILY TRIPLE
Steve Martin
600
A sundial has the fewest moving parts of any timepiece. Which has the most?
An Hourglass - thousands of pieces of sand
700
700
Florida man steals a BMW after being told he cannot buy it with (redacted)
A) Monopoly Money
B) A Jar of pee
C) Weed
D) Food Stamps
700
Menstrual Disc
700
What state does not allow the purchase of sex toys?
Alabama
700
Choking chicks and sodomy
The kind of shit you get on your TV
Violent Pornography
700
Maya Rudolph
700
I left my campsite and hiked south for 3 miles. Then I turned east and hiked for 3 miles. I then turned north and hiked for 3 miles, at which time I came upon a bear inside my tent eating my food! What color was the bear?
White. The only place you can hike 3 miles south, then east for 3 miles, then north for 3 miles and end up back at your starting point is the North Pole. Polar bears are the only bears that live at the North Pole, and they are white
800
800
Florida man arrested in park for practicing (redacted) on swans
A) Strip tease
B) Massage therapy
C) Karate
D) The Heimlich Maneuver
800
Hair Donut
800
How many calories are in a tablespoon of semen?
15-20 calories
800
And we are the ones that want to choose
Always want to play but you never want to lose
Aerials
800
Adam Sandler
800
You're In A Dark Room With A Candle, A Wood Stove, And A Gas Lamp. You Only Have One Match, So What Do You Light First?
The match
900
900
DAILY DOUBLE
Florida man charged with "Assault with a deadly weapon" after throwing a (redacted) through a Wendy's Drive-Thru window
900
Birth Control - Nexplanon
900
How high can semen shoot out of the penis vertically if not blocked by anything?
38 inches
900
I play Russian Roulette everyday, a man's sport
With a bullet called life, yeah, mama, called life
Sugar
900
Katy Perry
900
What is special about these words: job, polish, herb?
They are pronounced differently when the first letter is capitalized.
1000
1000
Florida man with handlebar mustache assaults woman on plane, starts a fight with several passengers, yells at police to (redacted) him and "you'll see what happens", then (redacted) 10 times
1000
Female Condom
1000
What is the record for the most female orgams in 1 hour?
A) 35
B) 68
C) 134
D) 198
134
1000
Well, advertising's got you on the run
Need therapy, therapy, advertising causes
Advertising's got you on the run
Need therapy, therapy, advertising causes
Chicken Stu
1000
Mila Kunis
1000
When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar