Distress Tolerance
This skill is intended to change your body chemistry quickly in order to reduce the effects of an overwhelmed emotional mind; where your thinking and behaviors are controlled by your overwhelming emotions.
What is TIPP Skill
The _-_-_ PLEASE skill is about taking good care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. Also, an important component of DBT is to reduce our vulnerability. When we take good care of ourselves, we are less likely to be vulnerable to disease and emotional crisis.
What is the ABC Please Skill?
A person using _____ uses some input from both the Emotion Mind and some input from Logic Mind and then adds intuitive knowing. This person focuses on getting things done effectively and the focus is on the experience.
What is the Wise Mind Skill?
This skill is intended to help us develop effective interpersonal communication that will help us get our needs met and develop healthy relationships with others.
What is DEAR MAN Skill?
We all use this skill to make decisions. This skill can be very helpful when you need to make a decision between two or more options. The objective when using this skill is for you to realize that accepting reality and tolerating distress leads to better outcomes versus rejecting reality and refusing to tolerate distress.
What is Pros/Cons Skill
This skill consists of the following sequence: Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed mindfully.
What is the STOP skill?
DBT encourages us to live our lives fully. To do so, it's most effective to: observe, describe, and participate in the activity of the moment throughout our day.
What is the What Skill?
This skill is especially important for Maintaining healthy relationships through effective communication. be Gentle, act Interested, Validate, use an Easy manner
What is the GIVE Skill?
(be) Gentle
Be nice and respectful. Avoid attacks (verbal or physical), threats, and manipulation. Avoid harassment of any kind. Express anger directly with words. Avoid using threating statements, for example; “I’ll kill myself if you…” Describe painful consequences for not getting what you want, but describe them calmly and without exaggerating. Stay in the discussion even if it gets painful. Exit gracefully. Avoid judging, moralizing, and blaming. Avoid smirking, eye rolling, sucking teeth, and interrupting the other.
(act) Interested
Listen and appear interested in the other person. Listen to the other person’s point of view. Face the person; maintain eye contact; lean toward the person rather than away. Don’t interrupt or talk over the person. Be sensitive to the person’s wish to have the discussion at a later time. Be patient.
Validate
Show that you understand the other person’s feelings and thoughts about the situation. See the world from the other person’s point of view, and then say or act on what you see. “I realize this is hard for you, and “I see that you are busy. Go to a private place when the person is uncomfortable talking in public.
(use an) Easy manner
Use a little humor. Smile. Ease the person along. Be light-hearted. Sweet-talk. Use a “soft sell” over a “hard sell.” Be “political.” Leave your attitude at the door
Distress tolerance skills are intended to help distract us and get us through difficult emotional situations one moment at a time. A way to remember this skill is with the acronym:
What is ACCEPTS Skill
All emotions activate us to respond and the type of activation is biologically wired. This Skill allows us to choose to respond opposite from what our biological response would activate us to do. They get us ready to act.
What is the Opposite Action Skill?
To live fully, DBT encourages us to be non-judgmental, mindful of the moment, and to focus on the desired outcome for each situation. Being Non-Judgemental, One Mindful and Effective.
What is the HOW skill?
This skill is an important component for communication as it allows you to maintain your self-respect and requires you to be truthful about the problems (even if you are tactful about how you frame them) and not to sacrifice your values or integrity.
be Fair, no Apologies, stick to Values, be Truthful
What is the FAST Skill?
Be Fair
Be fair to yourself and to the other person. Remember to validate your own feelings and wishes, as well as the feelings and wishes of the other person.
Don’t Over-Apologize
No apologizing for being alive or for making a request at all. No apologies for having an opinion, for disagreeing. No looking ashamed, with eyes and head down or body slumped. No invalidating the valid.
Stick to Your Values
Don’t sell out your values or integrity for reasons that aren’t very important. Be clear on what you believe is the moral or valued way of thinking and acting, and “stick to your guns.”
Be Truthful
Don’t lie. Don’t act helpless when you are not. Don’t exaggerate or make up excuses.
This is the complete and total acceptance of reality. This means that you accept the reality of a situation in your mind, heart, and body. You stop fighting against the reality and accept it.
What is Radical Acceptance?
This skill is intended to have us consider how we might be prepared in some way to help us reduce stress ahead of the time. When we are asked to do some task, it is helpful to think through to the completion of the task. All of us at one time or another have had to give a presentation. Before the presentation, we likely wrote up some notes or did some research on the subject. We do this in order to increase our chances of communicating a message to others successfully. This is an example of coping ahead of time.
What is the Cope Ahead skill?
Our emotional health is related to the health of our ______. When we grow up in a dysfunctional family or one that was chaotic, learning to use boundaries is one of the most uncomfortable set of clothes to try on. It threatens our former understanding of our self and our survival. Hence, it goes against every grain (or cell) of our being. With time, the wardrobe changes. We come to see ourselves as clearly separate from others. Intact and clear boundaries feel good. Healthy boundaries are flexible enough that we can choose what to let in and what to keep out. We can determine to exclude meanness and hostility and let in affection, kindness, and positive regard.
What is Boundary Building Skills?
Learning Boundaries
If you were parented in a way that you learned to stay within certain boundaries and why it mattered, there’s a good chance you learned how to set and enforce boundaries of your own. If the ways in which you were disciplined as a child weren’t clearly marked with an understanding of where the boundary was or why it was relevant, it may be more challenging for you to identify and state your boundaries to others as an adult—or to honor and respect the boundaries of others.
Understanding Boundaries
It’s important to note that sometimes people cross upon your boundaries (and vice versa) unknowingly. If you haven’t been clear that you have a boundary then you shouldn’t necessarily expect the other person to honor it. Of course, there are extreme examples, but this should be understood in common situations you encounter in your families, friendships, relationships, and in the workplace.
Identifying Your Boundaries
To set boundaries in any area of your life, you must first know what is important to you as well as what is a “go” or a “no go.” For many people, infidelity in their relationship is a “no go.” In your job, being yelled at by your boss or torpedoed by your peers may be a threshold. For some, family arguments at holiday gatherings might be a strong boundary.
Communicating and Enforcing Your Boundaries
Now that you know what your boundaries and the thresholds are, you’re ready to communicate them. In some instances, this may be easier said than done, and in some cases, you may find that it’s not difficult at all. The key is being mindful of how you communicate.
Your Physical Boundaries
Your life is yours. You are the one accountable for your choices. You bear the consequences of your decisions and your body bears the consequences of your decisions about it. You choose what to eat, how much to exercise, how much you will rest. The care of your body is in your hands and you are the one that lives with the results. If you decide to floss your teeth, you get to enjoy healthy gums. If you decide to live in a way that keeps you driven and tense, you are the one who lives with high blood pressure, greater susceptibility to illness, and strained relationships.
Emotional Boundaries
Emotional boundaries define the self. Assaults to boundaries threaten the self. The following harm emotional boundaries: ridicule, contempt, insistence of conformity, judgments, any kind of abuse, abandonment, threats, or insecurity.